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IELTS Writing Task 2 - the extensive use of computers in classroom, reduce the number of teachers


Quanbong 1 / 1  
May 5, 2017   #1
Learning would be improved through the extensive use of computers in the classroom. This would reduce the number of teachers required, which would be an advantage. Discuss.

Can technology replace teachers?



Nowadays, with the immense advances of modern science and technology, computers are widely used in classrooms to improve the teaching and learning quality. This may lead to the decline in the number of teachers required. In my opinion, this phenomenon either brings about many benefits and maintains a number of drawbacks.

First and foremost, most of computers in schools are now access to the high-speed Internet, which helps student approach a variety of learning materials around the world in different fields ranging from science or biology to geography or history. These materials can help students obtain general knowledge and increase level of cognitive achievement. Additionally, making use of computers will assist teachers in preparing for lessons and help them save much time and provide students with high-quality lectures.

However, there are some disadvantages when utilising computers in classrooms. Firstly, schools equipped with modern technology hardly sidestep an issue of funding and financial resources. As a result, many schools in developing countries still remains traditional classes with poor-quality facilities and equipments. Secondly, human contact is of great importance so it is necessary for students to practice teamwork skills and communication skills. Finally, teachers play an integral part in evaluating student's progress and acknowledging their deficiencies.

In summary, it is beneficial to use computers in classrooms; yet, teachers are still on demand and their roles are considered important.

akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
May 5, 2017   #2
Hi Vu, I will try giving you a few suggestions for finalizing this essay. Please, you meet my notes and deal with them.
First, you have missed one of the essential points in writing. The number of your words is less than 250 words. Keep in your mind that you are supposed to meet the requirement if you wanna get a high score. Your score will fall down due to this matter. Then, for your introductory paragraph, you successfully paraphrased the statement given. However, you needed to make your thesis statement clearer. I meant that you should mention underlining of points what you would explain in the body paragraph. This is very important to describe briefly.

For your body paragraphs, you actually had great ideas elucidating the issue, but you required to expand your idea. You are supposed to strengthen your opinion with adding examples. Those can be extracted from personal experiences, articles or scientific facts. I really believe you can get the high score in the task responses on condition that you wanna sharpen your view. In the second body paragraph, it is clear that you had the good opinion about the matter, but you have to add extra supporting ideas in two opinions.

In the conclusion, I hope you add suggestions for the issue so that you can complete the paragraph. I remind that the good paragraph has at least three sentences. Hopefully, those my suggestion can help you ti improve your skill.

GOOD LUCK
OP Quanbong 1 / 1  
May 5, 2017   #3
@akbarmappiare
omg, thank you so much!!!


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