Extra money for employees' exceptional work - how this management approach is effective?

Rewarding staff members for their commitment

Topic: Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others

To what extent is this style of management effective?
Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?
My task:
It has been the norm that extra money is given to employees as a reward for their great dedication to the company. This practice can give some staffs an impetus to work more efficiently but may also have an adverse influence on others. Ingrained in this essay is the idea that this approach of management can be effective to a certain extent, in conjunction with several methods of incentivising employees to work hard.

being received an accolade for their hard work, especially money is truly a considerable encouragement for the staffs. It is because in the contemporary world, money plays a pivotal role in people's lives. In present day, almost everything can be bought by money. Therefore, some extra money added to the salary is such a big incentive for employees. However, this phenomenon may lead to a hostile environment in the workplace. Those who do not receive any extra money for their work easily have a grudge against others. As a result, the relationship between staffs begins to fade, which results in poor coordination between employees.

In truth, another possible way of encouraging employees to work hard is to allow them to go home earlier than other staff members. It is the reward that has no interwoven connection with finance, hence less ramifications. Besides, allowing employees a longer holiday than usual is also a good method of motivating staffs. It is a more practical action than extra money since all people want to enjoy their holiday as much as possible. It is common knowledge that when we go on a trip, we tend not to return home. Therefore, allowing them a longer holiday not only makes them enjoy themselves more but renders them energetic when returning to work.

In conclusion, giving extra money for members of staff for their diligence can render them show more eternal devotion to work, whereas having a negative effect on others. Due to this fact, managers should take these aforementioned alternatives into account.

Let's start with the lack of synonyms in your restated introduction. The description "extra money" was already used in the original presentation so you cannot use it again in your own statement. An alternative word would be cash bonus, cash bonuses, or simply a bonus / bonuses. You need to avoid using the same words in your own essay because that will have a negative effect on your LR score. It will show that you have limited English vocabulary that can prevent you from properly explaining the topic of the essay you were provided.

Next, you have to remember that when you are asked specific questions in the original prompt, you will need to provide one sentence responses, one for every question, within the final sentences of your prompt restatement. The examiner requires those responses to help show that you know how to properly outline a discussion topic. That will also help you after your brainstorming because you will not need to refer to your notes while writing your essay. The outline will already be right in front of you.

In the second paragraph, you went off topic towards the end when you spoke of the negative effects of giving bonuses. The relationship in question is only between the boss and rank and file employee. That is the focus of the discussion because the boss is the one giving the incentives. So the other employees and how they feel about employees who receive bonuses do not matter. That is not part of the discussion. That should be removed from the presentation.

You should not have included the topic about sending an employee home early in the 2nd reasoning paragraph. You did not fully develop that discussion so it did not really help your essay moving forward. However, the presentation after that, about allowing employees holidays, was right on the mark and should have been the only explanation presented. Mostly because that was the more developed response to the question.

By the way, you need to be careful when typing and writing. You accidentally started a paragraph with a lowercase letter. You should start all sentences, regardless of paragraph place, with a capital letter. Errors like that can affect your GRA score in relation to grammar accuracy.