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Fable story : the princess snail



thaoquyen 2 / 3  
Jan 30, 2012   #1
Please help me fix this "fable story" and add more details for me. Thank you ^.^

The Princess Snail

In a vast kingdom, a beautiful castle glitters with a lots of lights, and a beautiful princess lives there with her parents. Because she is very pretty, she has become lazy, and does not want to do anything except for dancing, singing, hanging out with friends and look at clothes all day.

The King and Queen were very concerned about the princess. The King will teach her how to write and study hard. The Queen will teach her how to do housework and cook good food. The next morning, the King called his daughter to his book room and teach her, but she does not listen and does not want to study. In the afternoon, the Queen tried to teach her how to clean her own room and cook, but the princess did not want to learn. The King and Queen just shook their head, and sighed. Over the next few day, the King and Queen were worried sick about the princess. They hoped the princess will cook food for them and take care of them, but the princess still want to hang out with friends and lazy to do those things or to take care of her parents. The King was mad at her, and wished the princess will become an ugly snail throughout the day. The reprimand of the King has become a reality. The princess became an ugly snail that goes out of the castle and to the road.

From that day, the princess snail just creeping slow all day on the road, and she was hated by everyone. She goes to her friend house; they scanned her outside, and laugh at her. The princess snail had nowhere to go, and she tried to find a place to sleep over night. Almost night, the princess snail found a place under the big tree, and sleep in there. In that night, there was thunder, and under the tree have a lot of different animals they are made her scare, and the princess want to go home with her parents, but she can not. She doesn't sleep in tat night, but she was thinking about her parents, and her castle. She was upset about what she did and has done before her leave the castle; leave her parents. Now, she wants to return home and says sorry with her parents, and repay for what she did with her parents before.

During the times that the princess snail leave, the Queen was cry really hard and told the King to take her daughter back to the castle. The King were really sad, too, but he doesn't know what to do. Suddenly, the King saw a snail go to his bedroom and said," Father, I'm your daughter. I'm really sorry you, and mother for what I did wrong with you and mother. Now, I'm came back to repay, for what I have done. Father, please forgive me and don't hates me,"

- The King cried said," I'm and your mother will forgive you, and we hoped you could stay here for the rest of your life. I'm also sorry about what I have done to you too. "-" Oh, father doesn't said that you have teaches me a hard lesson that I won't forget. I would says thank you to you and mother. I love you both!" Said the princess.

From that day, the princess snail and her parents lives together with a lots of happiness and loves. The princess snail also changed her life to became more beautiful and more valuable.

The story wants to tells us must know the pious and obedient to parents. Do not become lazy, but we should become diligent to help parents for housework. Also advised us not to get giddy that makes parents sad. That's the moral of the story, and the story also wanted to tells us after every happened; we will and we should learns a lesson from that happens, and see it as a lesson is provided.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Jan 30, 2012   #2
Hi :) I can edit your grammar for you.

In a vast kingdom, has a beautiful castle glitteres with lots of lights, and there was a beautiful princess lives there with her parents. Because she is very pretty, so she has become lazy, and does not want to do anything except for dancing, singing, hanging out with friends, and viewlook at clothes all day.

The King and Queen were very worried andconcerned about the princess. The King will teach her how to write and study goodhard .

The next day in the morning, the King called his daughter to his book room to teach her, but she does not listen and does not want to study .

In the afternoon, the Queen tried to teach her how to clean the house (castle?) and cook , but the princess didn't want to learn too .

Over the next few days , the King and Queen were worried sickbecause they were sad about the princess.

The King was mad at her, and wished the princess will become an ugly snail throughout the day on the street.

The princess became an ugly snail that goes out of the castle and to the road.

The princess snail don't have anyhad nowhere to go and she tried to find a place to sleep over night.

Focus on fixing your grammar issues, but you have a nice story so far :) Best of luck to you.
OP thaoquyen 2 / 3  
Jan 31, 2012   #3
hihi ... thank you for helping me ^.^ Well, it's totally great. thanks :)


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