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Factory treats the workers as machines and workers are suffering from the single and boring everyday


Adamtong 9 / 32 2  
Sep 23, 2014   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Workers would be much happier if they are doing different types of tasks during their workday than doing the same task.

I have always admired the advance of society in such a extent that, everyone in the factory or workplace charges a specific area,instead of doing different types of tasks at the same time.Thanks to this division of labor, our society runs in order efficiently. However,we can always see a film or a novel satirize this feature of modern society.It seems that the factory treats the workers as machines and workers are suffering from the single and boring everyday life.After all,if I study maths since the time we get up,that will drive me crazy. This makes me wonder, if the workers would be much happier if they are doing different types of tasks during their workday than doing the same task?

Admittedly,working in a single work is kind of boring. But we have to realize that working itself is not full of fun considering it means responsibility. Even a single task already makes most of the workers tired and exhausted, I can barely imagine we can provide more tasks to them.

Some people may argue,if students can study several subjects in a school day,then workers can handle several tasks in a workday.First,I have to point out that not every student can get a good grade at the end of the semester facing so many subjects just as most workers do not equip with enough skills to do many tasks in a workday. Plus,our parents pay the university to educate us,instead,workers use their labor to earn a life.There is a difference between workers and students.The way workers work depends on the way benefits the factory most and that depends on the boss.If workers are happier to go to work than losing their job,then I think it is better for them listening to their boss.

Some people would argue, factory depends on workers just as workers depend on the factory.The status of worker's emotion strongly affect the production of the factories, hence,doesn't the factory should care more about his workers instead of treating them like machines. I strongly agree with the idea that, workers and factories depend on each other and one should consider the other's feeling. But instead of hurt the benefits and sophisticated running system of the factories,we can see there are many other ways to make workers happier.For instance,many factories provide "weisure time" to the workers nowadays,which means the workers can have a rest in their work time at a specific time playing their phones, answering emails,browsing the web. This action makes the life in a factory not so boring for workers, and instead of hurting the benefits of the factories,the happy workers are energetic to continue their task after the rest. The factory benefits from this action since after all they can depend more on happy workers instead of boring ones.

Considering all factors listed above, I do not agree with argument that Workers would be much happier if they are doing different types of tasks during their workday than doing the same task.

thank you for your supervision:
I'd be grateful if you point out the grammar mistakes or even to make the sentences in this issue more fluent and native.
I think it is pretty solid and concrete issue. If you can find logic mistakes or weakness in this issue,I'd appreciate that!

Thank you,again!

NoumanAhmad 2 / 8  
Sep 23, 2014   #2
There was really no need of 2nd paragraph. You could have merged it with some other para or you could have built more on this point.

No need of capital W in workers in last sentence.
There is always a space after comma.
Conclusion should not state the same line as the topic. You should rephrase it(same sentence in different words).
Lastly, your argument in third para was really dumb (I mean if someone says so, then he is surely dumb)
OP Adamtong 9 / 32 2  
Sep 23, 2014   #3
thank you for your advisement, but i have a few questions to ask.
first, should i put a comma after a space?
second, i dont really understand your point about "dumb". can you explain more concretely?
NoumanAhmad 2 / 8  
Sep 24, 2014   #4
You should put a space after a comma. No space before comma. The same is the case with full stop.
Example: As you sow, so shall you reap.
In 3rd para, the argument is really lame. I mean who on the earth would compare factory workers and students.
YULIS 9 / 17 1  
Sep 24, 2014   #5
i suggest u, to give statement are u disagree or agree with the statement theme and then u can explain it in paragraph introduction. and watch out with your comma, and space


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