Female teachers were dominant in pre-school, primary and secondary school in the UK in 2100

This is my IELTS task 1 essay and any comments would be appreciated.

TASK 1: BAR GRAPH: The chart shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

proportion of men and women at uk school

The provided bar graph gives data on the percentage of male and female teachers in six different stages in the UK education system in 2010. As can be seen from the graph, school level observes a huge gender gap in numbers of teachers; however, higher education institutes are more equal in teacher presence.

Female teachers were dominant in pre-school, primary and secondary school. They made up a particularly large portion of more than 90% in pre-school and primary school, while male teachers comprised only 4% and 8% respectively. The figure for secondary school slightly dropped to 54%, compared to 46% of male teachers.

Men and women were more equally represented in higher education level. In college, there were as many male teachers as female counterparts. Around 54% of teachers in private training institute were male, which exceeded 46% of female teachers. Males even outnumbered their female peers in university, where they took up 70% in teacher presence.

P/s: I'm sorry that I couldn't upload image because the site kept telling that my image is too large (1.08 MB) or wrong file type ( I tried .jpg, .jpeg or .png)

Pham , You should have made a smaller file size for the image upload. You cannot expect to get an accurate review and comments about your essay content at the moment because of the lack of image. The most you will get out of me is a general review of the work that you have done which, based on your word count, is not sufficient enough to gain a passing score. You wrote only 157 words. You have to write at least 200 words in order to be considered for a higher level of scoring band.

In the first paragraph, an enumeration of the 6 different stages was required as part of the overview of the data you will be presenting. You left the reader in the dark because you did not tell the reader what to expect in your analysis. There is a lack of discussion instruction representation in the statement. That should have been presented before the trending statement.

Due to the missing illustration, I cannot tell if you developed a sufficient analysis of the given information. Your statements feel short and abrupt. It is more than likely also that, due to the short analysis you made, your essay is not delivering all of the required information as per the discussion instruction.

Please do your best to upload the image with your next practice essay so that I can offer you better guidance and a more comprehensive review for your work.

@Holt
Thank you for your review. I wonder if it is the case that my essay would not gain a passing score due to insufficient word count when the requirement is at least 150 words for IELTS Task 1.