If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
Please help me to improve this essay and score my essay? I will participate Toefl PBT next week.
The question is that what should I change about my hometown if I have a right?. In my opinion, the fist change I will do is the promotion of education system because this will help the local to overcome poverty, find talents and address some social problems.
To begin with, the increase of the quality of education system makes huge contribution to help citizens overcome the poverty. It is honest that my hometown is very poor, each family only spend less two dollars a day. Therefore, investing more money in education system will be a good catalyst which can stimulate children to go further in knowledge path. Then, they will become successful doctors, engineers, teachers, businessmen and so on who will come back their hometown to help others. My cousin, Hung, is good example in this case, he has graduated from Medical University of Viet Nam. He now set up a small polyclinic to treat for the local.
Better education system will help society to find talents. It is the development of education that will make children easier to realize their real talents in this world such as; singing, painting, dancing, playing sports, studying to name a few. Therefore, they will make use of their opportunities to improve their talents by themselves and become supper stars in the future. For example, my friend, Duc Anh, studied in a good educational system school in our country's capital and very soon his teacher helped him to find his talent for singing. He is now a big star in the eyes of the public.
The increase of education system will tackle some vital social problems such as; reduction of crime ratio and unemployment ratio. It is obvious that education system has a huge impact on children's development not also in knowledge but also in moral. Hence, upgrading education system will enable children to realize clearly their real value in this world, consequently they will not show bad behaviours toward society.
When all is said and done, if I do have a chance to make decision, I will give a top priority for altering education system in my hometown because of its prominent benefits in local evolution. In my opinion, education plays the most important role in one country's development both in economy and moral aspects. Therefore, the government should pay more attention in upgrading education system. Only by doing this, can society approach a sustainable development.
Please help me to improve this essay and score my essay? I will participate Toefl PBT next week.
The question is that what should I change about my hometown if I have a right?. In my opinion, the fist change I will do is the promotion of education system because this will help the local to overcome poverty, find talents and address some social problems.
To begin with, the increase of the quality of education system makes huge contribution to help citizens overcome the poverty. It is honest that my hometown is very poor, each family only spend less two dollars a day. Therefore, investing more money in education system will be a good catalyst which can stimulate children to go further in knowledge path. Then, they will become successful doctors, engineers, teachers, businessmen and so on who will come back their hometown to help others. My cousin, Hung, is good example in this case, he has graduated from Medical University of Viet Nam. He now set up a small polyclinic to treat for the local.
Better education system will help society to find talents. It is the development of education that will make children easier to realize their real talents in this world such as; singing, painting, dancing, playing sports, studying to name a few. Therefore, they will make use of their opportunities to improve their talents by themselves and become supper stars in the future. For example, my friend, Duc Anh, studied in a good educational system school in our country's capital and very soon his teacher helped him to find his talent for singing. He is now a big star in the eyes of the public.
The increase of education system will tackle some vital social problems such as; reduction of crime ratio and unemployment ratio. It is obvious that education system has a huge impact on children's development not also in knowledge but also in moral. Hence, upgrading education system will enable children to realize clearly their real value in this world, consequently they will not show bad behaviours toward society.
When all is said and done, if I do have a chance to make decision, I will give a top priority for altering education system in my hometown because of its prominent benefits in local evolution. In my opinion, education plays the most important role in one country's development both in economy and moral aspects. Therefore, the government should pay more attention in upgrading education system. Only by doing this, can society approach a sustainable development.
