IELTS Writing Task 1: First Year Assessments

Complete the gaps in the summary below of this graph using a comparative or superlative form of the words in brackets.
The given is the chart comparing the percentage of student in-depth quality from different disciplines in the first year assessment during 4 years, between 2008 and 2012.

Overall, the highest number of Computer Science passed by far the highest in both years. Thus the gap between Computer Science and Humanities had overlooked extremely wide.

Let us take a close look at the table. Computer Science leads the percentages over 70% and 80% in 2008 and 2012, while Math and Engineering reached the second highest scores in 2012. On the other hand, the Health Science experienced the most stable pass rates at just over 40% in 2008 or 2012.

The most marked for studying Business, 2008 pass rates in Business, Science, and Maths and Engineering were substantially lower in 2008 than in 2012, which means that the greatest level of growth rate tend to these disciplines better than Humanities which stands at just under 10% in 2008 and approximately 20% in 2012.

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  1st_year.jpg
  

So, I find your introduction and overview excellent in their presentation. However, I like if you adopted a more formal tone in the other parts that suits better for report writing. For example;


.... I think this sounds a bit too personal and not going well with report writing.
However, you display excellent writing skills. This is pretty good :)

I think you should use more information given by the chart .