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'forced to become my own competitor' - UCF Essay



bbird17 1 / 1  
Jul 7, 2012   #1
We ask that you respond to two of the topics below. Your personal statement should be no longer than 250 words each or a total of 500 words for both statements. The best personal statements are not necessarily the longest ones.

1. If there has been some obstacle or bump in the road in your academic or personal life, please explain the circumstances.
2. How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
3. Why did you choose to apply to UCF?
4. What qualities or unique characteristics do you possess that will allow you to contribute to the UCF community?

1.) Early last year I began showing symptoms of an unknown illness. As symptoms progressively worsened and it became increasingly difficult to carry on the physical burden I began to worry. Though multiple doctors insisted I was still a healthy individual, the truth was that I was quite ill. Eight months later, I was officially diagnosed with Frontal Lobe Epilepsy. To control the seizures, I was placed on anti-convulsion medications. Though I assumed the prescription of the medications brought this chapter of my life to an end, I was only just beginning my uphill climb.

Side effects of the medications kept me extremely dizzy for hours on end, but I was able to return to school-life. I was greeted by piles of paper work from both my Honors and AP classes. I spent hours studying for the exams I had missed and vigorously completed the work. At times it seemed I would never make it. Only adding to my stress was the fact that I had missed my scheduled ACT test and now stood scrambling to make up for lost time. After a few weeks I was thankful to have accomplished my task, but the new perspective I gained on academics startled me. I realized that I am the only person truly responsible for my academics. It the teacher's responsibility to offer any aid, but it is up to me to aid myself. I must earn the grade; despite circumstances. My grades are a reflection of my character and the success or failure is a window into my ethics.

However, I could not have overcome the odds without a little compassion. I was overtaken by the compassion that fellow students showed for me. Peers who I had never talked to before began stopping me in the halls and asking how I was doing. Some even went so far as to stop by my house to deliver gifts and get well cards. I was so thankful for their interest in me and I reflected on how I had treated others in similar situations. It made me realize the tremendous effect compassion has on others and inspired me to strive to treat others the way that I was treated.

2.) Growing up as a twin has certainly been interesting. Even in my earliest memories I can remember formulating diabolical schemes with my twin, Josh. My mom said that it was quite a task to tame us and adds that, "sure enough one little baby would run one way screaming and yelling, while the other would run the other way giggling." Growing up we were undeniably the inseparable pair: playing sports together, sharing the same friends and spending our summers playing together.

However, as we matured I began to notice attributes in my brother that I did not have. He spent more time on activities, aiming to achieve prominence over peers. In contrast, I often did things for pleasure. Age changed our relationship and eventually I too developed a competitive flare. We began pushing each other and found ourselves constantly at each other heels; dogging it out to be the best. As we continued to age, we both developed separate skills that carried us into different arenas of life. Now, I was forced to become my own competitor. Since then, I always strive to outdo myself; whether it is in academics, athletics or my personal life. I attribute this need for completion and improvement to growing up as a twin. This, more than any other factor in my life, has made me the successful person I am.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 7, 2012   #2
It is the teacher's responsibility to offer any aid I needed, but it is up to me to aid myself.

Your first paragraph is written so well.... Enjoyed reading it : )
joshuanderitu01 2 / 40  
Jul 8, 2012   #3
It the teacher's responsibility i found it that it should have been well written as its the teachers responsibility second paragraph of the essay but that paragraph is well written though.
joshuanderitu01 2 / 40  
Jul 8, 2012   #4
Though multiple doctors insisted I was still a healthy individual, the truth was that I was quite ill. Eight months later, I was officially diagnosed with Frontal Lobe Epilepsy. To control the seizures, I was placed on anti-convulsion medications. Though i see it well written again but you are using the connection of words though many times than it should start with a new mesage of words in your essay . I assumed the prescription of the medications brought this chapter of my life to an end, It was only just beginning my uphill climb. well done for the first paragraph for its well writen exept only for a missing good connection of words and a letter in the first paragraph.
OP bbird17 1 / 1  
Jul 8, 2012   #5
thanks alot!
joshuanderitu01 2 / 40  
Jul 9, 2012   #6
its the teachers responsibility

i mean't it should be it's the teachers responsibility
joshuanderitu01 2 / 40  
Jul 9, 2012   #7
It was only just beginning my uphill climb.

It was only just the beginning of my uphill climb this is what i mean't first paragraph


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