Crit review. Don't take it personally, but I want to quickly hit points hard so you can change them.
The metamorphosis from the moveable to autonomous, or those that move, is an apparent depiction of my existence as of today. From the transition of my
You sound snobbish. Drop the complex language. It is drawing out your sentences without necessity.
I can describe living with my parents, especially the influence of my tyrannical dad, a life of forced obligations, restriction and confusion. My desires and wishes were artificial and forced upon. Such desires and wishes to fulfill my own personal interests and requirements were absent! I lived a life of submission and the absence of self-fulfillment.
If you can describe something, or better yet, if you're going to mention a detail, you need to expand on it. Don't throw us bone without meat on it. Consider tossing the tyrant dad part. It's a gut punch. But the thing is, you're not scoring sympathy points. I don't doubt that your home situation had defined you. I have some experiences on that front. But plan this out with an outline: if you write point A, you need point B, otherwise, stick with the higher point #1 instead. Details. If you're not providing them, don't hint at it.
Those years were full of despair, perplexity, and a broken moral/ethical compass. In such, I would describe these years as fluid and moveable.
You're reflecting on things. It makes perfect sense to you, not to the audience. Again, details, or I don't want to hear it.
The rest of this essay keeps with this problem. You're summarizing personal experiences... You're demonstrating to me you can summarize, and thats about it. You're not showing me the "transition from movable to autonomous (self moving)". You said that was your point, and you've neither illustrated each state of being for your life, nor have you illustrated the turning point or change from being moved to self moving.