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IELTS essay: free health care or not


woyunsi3000 2 / 4  
Oct 22, 2012   #1
Hi,
The eesay below is one of my practice for the IELTS test. Any suggestions will be welcomed!
Thanks!

As a fundamental element for everyone's life, health care and the topic related have long been capturing public's attention all the time. A growing number of countries are providing citizens with free health insurance in varying degrees. Apparently, the free medical care policy is widely recognised by the majority of modern society dwellers. However, there are also different voices declaring that it could impact the reular running of the government.

It is widely accepted that everyone who makes contribution to society is deserved to enjoy a life without the concern about their affordability of the expensive healthy treatment. The free health care help people to be more concentrated in their daily life, which will lead to a higher efficiency in creating the wealth. Besides, by providing free health care, the feeling of well-being of citizens can be remarkably fortified, so that the country will be more likely to attract more talents from all over the world. Everyone knows that what is the most precious within one country comes from its intelligent residents, from which it's not difficult to understand that, to some extent, both the country and individual benefit from the free health care system.

Although some governments may have encountered some pressure brought by the high costs of the free health care system, the root cause does not lie in the mechanism itself, but the way how they operate the fund. In another word, the managers should tailor their investment strategy to ensure the profit is always able to overweigh the deficit caused by inflation.

To sum up, since the application of free health care system is regarded as a considerable indicator which represents the living standard of citizens as well as the humanization of the government policy, it's undeniable that the spreading of the system is unstoppable. What is more important, there is still a long way to go to fit the free health care system to the highly diverse human society.

Scientiana 12 / 43 10  
Nov 8, 2012   #2
Great essay! Your essay is very well written in the formal style and with few errors. However, I seem to have problem understanding the last sentence of your second paragraph, so I hope you can use alternative way to write that sentence. Keep up the good work!
OP woyunsi3000 2 / 4  
Nov 20, 2012   #3
Thanks,Scientiana!
I am going to take the IELTS test recently. And I still have a slow writing speed, I hope there could be some improvement in the rest of the days.


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