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IELTS Task 2 : The Freedom of Creativity



Fardhani Putri 23 / 44  
Feb 11, 2014   #1
Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in word, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

As a quote from German philosopher "Art is the daughter of freedom". This is good to reflect about creativity in these days because many artists show their feelings with no doubt. Their expressive feelings are debatable among people because they show their creations by freely and no rules. Some people argue that government has to support their free creative ideas in many of media arts. I tend to disagree with this statement with some reasons.

On the one hand, doing creative will make balance our brain and the people with passion in creativity are able to develop their ideas in many of art media like books, movies, pictures and musics. Based on human right, the artists free to express their feelings because arts are their souls. For instance, abstract picture, this is just the artist who knows about the meaning about their picture. They show their creations in an exhibition and they want their creations get appreciation from others so they feel free to expose their ability in arts.

In contrast, sometimes the artists are too excessive to show their creative ideas so young people will be influenced by artists. Take one example, Adam and Eve picture which is painted in naked picture, for some artists that is an art but when some people see the picture they will assume that is not well-manner to show in public because it could influence the morality of young people. Furthermore, some religions do not allow the controversy picture because it is not appropriate with their beliefs which give priority of respectful. As a result, there will be increase many of social crimes which occur in among us.

Therefore, the government has to make a strict rule for controlling artists to express their creative ideas because their creation would be showed to different social and educational background. Thus, the government has to cooperate with the artists to discussion about separate the good and the bad from their creation before it is given to public.

On the whole, arts are abstracts feeling which people cannot control to express them and I strongly believe that government should make policy to artists for controlling their expressive ideas to decline the negative impacts from arts.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 12, 2014   #2
many of art media

,

many of social crimes

This is verbose, using many words. Suggest: omit the word many

arts are abstractsfeelingidea which people cannot control to express them

this is just the artist who knows about the meaning about their picture.

what do you want to say here?

Adam and Eve picture which is painted in naked picture, for some artists that is an art but when some people see the picture they will assume that is not well-manner to show in public because it could influence the morality of young people.

If too long, then this lacks for clarity.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Feb 12, 2014   #3
"Art is the daughter of freedom"

Nice quote :)
This is good to reflect about creativity in these days because many artists show their feelings with no doubtwithout any fear or hesitation.
I tend to disagree with this statement withdue to some reasons.

On the one hand, doing creative will make balance our brain and the people with passion in creativity are able to develop their ideas in many of art media like books, movies, pictures and musics.

.... This sentence is too long and has a few grammar issues. I suggest you to rephrase it :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Feb 21, 2014   #4
You write well. Just pay attention to your grammatical mechanics. Also, if you could, you might construct your conclusion with this structure:
The Concluding Paragraph has three parts:
1. a 'conclusion' signal: In conclusion, ....etc,
2. a summary of the main points or a restatement of the thesis (in different words!)
3. a final comment, based on the information in the essay.
The final comment can be:
a warning or prediction (often using the first conditional: If ..., ... will ...)
a suggestion or recommendation (often using should or must)
SHanafi 120 / 357  
Feb 21, 2014   #5
doing creative will make balance our brain and the people with passion in creativity are able to develop their ideas in many of art media like books, movies, pictures and musics.

I am with D

This sentence is too long and has a few grammar issues. I suggest you to rephrase it :)

umi
Let me try
Doing creative will balancing our brain. This process similarly occurs in creative people who able spread their idea in several media embody books, movies, pictures and musics.

good luck for your exam Fardhani Putri :D


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