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IELTS- The freedom of expression, no government restrictions



riny 13 / 25  
Oct 31, 2010   #1
Please give me your own opinion against the freedom of expression too :) thanks!!

Q:Creative artist should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A number of people have a great opportunity to create new ideas without any restriction in recent years. This is because human rights are acknowledged by society, therefore various artists have achieved the freedom of opinion and expression and can provide a huge scale of art. However, this tendency has brought several issues in modern society. In my strong opinion, people should be more aware of the danger of the freedom of expression for some reasons. This essay will examine why the freedom of expression contribute negative aspects to people.

One reason is that young people especially children are highly influenced by products created by artists. Movies, for instance, often contain violent and sexual scenes. Although some artists insist these contents are one of expression as the art, these aggressive scenes negatively impact on people. It is clear that as many children are attracted by these scenes, they often misunderstand that these actions can be acceptable in the real situation. In fact, some scientists have proved the impact of violent movies on teenagers is highly related to the number of crime relating violence in recent research. In addition, many teenagers are involved in drug and alcohol abuse by influence of some artists' behaviour such as musicians and film actors.

To solve these significant issues, the government must take an action immediately. The restriction of age in viewers is one of the great strategies to prevent children to reach unrecommended movies, books, and pictures. An education to their parents can also be effective since they can avoid to purchase and leave these products at home.

In conclusion, even though artists have a right to express their ideas and opinions, it must be limited at certain stage to protect children from unexpected abuse and crime.

anb_duck /  
Nov 1, 2010   #2
In my strong opinion, people should be more aware of the danger of the freedom of expression for some reasons.

You should better use merely "in my opinion". Your opinion might not be considered "strong" to other people though.
OP riny 13 / 25  
Nov 2, 2010   #3
thanks, anb duck.
i'll try not to write like that ;)
iishine 4 / 5  
Nov 3, 2010   #4
The grammar and vacabulary is really good, but the content of your essay is a little out of topic.
I thing the main point of the topic is " rights of expression", and not " whether or not artists' products are suitable for children" . The government should not only focus on the existing products, they can also contribute to make a proper channel for artists' expression.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 9, 2010   #5
Here is a run on sentence. It needs a conjunction:
This is because human rights are acknowledged by society, and therefore various artists have ...

Although some artists insist these contents are one of expressions of the art, these aggressive scenes negatively impact on people.

... acceptable in the real situation situations.

...must be limited to a certain extent at certain stage to protect children from unexpected abuse and crime.

:-)


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