Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


Essay about Frienship- Judith Viorst



mathanvn 1 / 3  
Aug 2, 2010   #1
All Kind of Friends

There are many valuable things in life, but friendship may be one of the most important. In every society in the world people have and follow this relationship and support it. In some societies this relationship is given more importance than others. In "All Kinds of Friends", Judith Viorst divides the types of friends into six categories: "convenience friends," "special-interest friends," "historical friends," "crossroads friends," "cross-generational friends," and "close friends," for various reasons and at various levels of intensity. Human interaction is a necessity to survival, but developed friendships are an essential to the successful well being of anyone. After reading her article, I feel lucky because I realize that among several friends, two of my best friends fit into two different categories.

Yayz 10 / 94  
Aug 2, 2010   #2
Human interaction is a necessity tonecessary for survival, but developed friendships are an essential to the successful well being of anyoneanyone's well-being .

About three years ago, I had to face with the most difficult time of my life. When I justfirst came to America, everything was strange for me. In addition, because of my weakeness in English, I did not understand any lectures , and I fell behind when compared to other friends in class. Duong, a best friend that I met at Westmoore High school, is considered as a crossroad friend. Studying in Math class gave me the chance to meet Duong. He excelled in his studies and at playing sportswas an excellent student in studying and playing sports . Therefore, he always helped me understand the complex lessons and helped me indoingwith homework. Furthermore, the moment when Duong and I won beforeover the previous champion team in basketball game gave me athe best memory in myof high school. Because Duong was the captain inof the basketball team because he played very well in basketball . He usually asked me to play basketball with him after we finished the homework. He taught me how to keepmanage the ball and how to choose the right position to make a perfect shot . As a result, the coach in my high school calledasked me to play for the basketball team. The first match when I played in,forthe team was fighting with the previous champion team. Most students in my high school thought that my team would be defeated. However, by practicing with Duong and gettingwith the effort of whole team, my team made a miracle before the champion team . Our team defeated the previous champion team and kept going to the next match in the happiness of all students in my high school. As it turned out, Duong and I became the best friends, and he was the person who made me kind of enjoy playing basketball thatas I never hadplayed before. Viorst concludes with her definition about crossroads friends: "we forge links strong enough to endure with not much more contact than once-a-year letter at Christmas, maintaining a special intimacy - dormant but always ready to be revived - on those rare but tender occasions when we met" (9). TheT ime passedwent over , and graduation day finally came. Duong got a scholarship and received an acceptance letter from Harvard University. He needed to leave home to go to the university while I went to Orange Coast College. We went different ways when we left high school; however, we still send best wishes to each other on special days and hang out with himtogether when he comes back to our home town for break. Since the day I knew Duong, I had the greatest memories aboutofthe high school time , and the relationship between Duong and I will always be thea good friendship.

The other category is "Cross-Generational Friends" relationship. Viorst describes this friendship by showing that "another tender but unequal intimacy exists in the friendships that form across generations" (9). My friend, Dai, who is a bachelor in Architect, fits into this relationship. He is thirty eight years old and the owner of theof a construction company. In addition, Viorst explains this friendship by saying that "the younger enlivens the older, the older instructs the younger" (9). She also says "Each role, as mentor or quester, as adult or child, offers gratifications of its own. And because we are unconnected by blood, our words of advice are accepted as wise" (9). Dai gave me the lessons inof life that my parent never taught me, and I thought that these lessons only had from experience of personalcame from personal experience . One of these lessons that I still remembered until now is the lesson about my haughty attitude. I keep in mind the day that I came to the coffee shop where I met Dai. I talked to him with a loud voice and boasted that I was a successful student because I always had an A in any classes that I took. I just wanted to show off to him that I was a good student .Immediately, h e saw me with a different vision and said to me with a lower voice that: "hey boy, nothing is easy to get in this world". He also added: "The success will come to you when you work hard, when you receive the respect from someone, and when you know how to act towardsthe older people". His saying(It is clearer if you just use a pronoun here)This caught my attention and made me think the actionsof what I did before I met him. After thinking about his sayingadvice(it was more of a piece of advice than a saying), I felt ashamed by the actions I did before Dai(That is redundant, you just mentioned this in the last sentence). Furthermore, it made me realize that I did not have the respect fromof my friends, and gave me the lessonthaught me(It sounds clearer this way) that I need to change my behavior to receive the respect from people around me(Try not to end sentences with prepositions). After that event, I promised to myself that I needed to study more, read more, and listen more to become a better student. It is all about how to make me become thea successful person. Since I changed my behavior, I received thea("the" is more specific than "a," but you haven't mentioned a scholarship previously so "a" makes more sense)scholarship from the(you need an article here) Biology department which proved the fact that all my changes had thea positive affect.

In conclusion, friends broaden my horizons, open my views, and widen my visions . Friends are really a gift of God. Nobody could live a life without a friend, so we need to open our hearts to let others have a chance to be friends with us. If we wish that our friends should be true to us, then we must be true to our friends. With the belief that my friends will accept me for me, I am okay, for I matter to them, I joyfully live the life I love and I dedicate my energy to work wholeheartedly.

Wow, I really liked your conclusion! Nice essay =)
OP mathanvn 1 / 3  
Aug 3, 2010   #3
Wow. I just posted my essay this morning and now I received the feedback.

I really appreciate your help Yays. As English is second language, I have many errors in grammar when i write the essay.

If you have any comment my essay, please feel free to post with your ideas as your comment.

Once more time, i really thanks to all your helps.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 3, 2010   #4
Hi Tuan, I wonder if you have any questions about Maria's corrections. Do you know what an article is? Do you want to discuss some of the changes she made?

Also, if you want to type the essay again and try to make the changes suggested by Maria, we will look to see what else we can do to improve the essay. By continuously improving it, we can improve your understanding. I'm glad you are here! Make a new post if you want to, and try to apply Maria's changes!

(thanks Yayz!)
OP mathanvn 1 / 3  
Aug 3, 2010   #5
Hello eveyone, i have changed the error i have with the help from Yays.
Please take a look again my essay and let me know that i need to change anything in my essay.
Thanks you,
mathanvn
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Aug 4, 2010   #6
Hyphen:
He is thirty-eight years old...

Furthermore, the moment when Duong and I won over the previous champion team in basketball gave me the best memory of my high school years.

During the first match I played in, the team...

I met Dai at the coffee shop where I hang out with friends.

... said to me with a low voice: "He y boy, nothing is easy to get in this world". He also added: "The success will come to you when you work hard, when you receive respect from someone, and when you know how to act towards older people." This caught my attention ...

We could not live without friends, so we need to open our heart to give ourselves a chance to have m ore friends.

Nice job! This is a great subject, and your story is interesting.


Home / Writing Feedback / Essay about Frienship- Judith Viorst
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳