Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Writing Task 2 ( Full essay regarding environment in type of agree or disagree)



Fazlur27 3 / -  
Aug 30, 2016   #1
Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only large companies and businesses can make a difference.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Some people argue that individuals cannot provide many influences in altering to the better environment, whilst big factories and businesses enable making an alteration. I strongly agree that such idea have the pivotal role due to intervention and capital.

The big factories have significant affection to intervene the advertisement. Maximizing this department causes the consumer be aware for care to save the earth. For instance, by doing campaign to the society throughout television or magazines that before shopping in the supermarket, they should bring the private bag from their own homes. As a result, the using of plastic bag might be diminished little by little.

Furthermore, the big factories have capital to control in producing less of pollution. A case in point, Toyota could manufacture the more electricity car rather than automobile which generally damage the sphere which has the potential adverse effect such as emission and pollution. Consequently, the deteriorate pollution could be combatted by controlling the production of car.

In conclusion, it is noticeable that the issue of environment is a complex one which is receiving more attention. To address this problem, It seems reasonable to suggest that individuals must grasp the nettle not only participating to utilize the items which contains less of pollution but also supporting the large companies to improve the environment and that is most obviously an impressive development.

hailun11 12 / 12  
Aug 30, 2016   #2
Hi Fazlur..^^

I have read your writing, I think you haven't given the task response with the question above. First of all, Look at on "Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only large companies and businesses can make a difference". In my opinion, the "large companies and businesses" are not government but they are a private companies.

Then your body paragraph is not relevant to explain also, that was confusing to understand your statement.
(I didn't see your strong argument in this body)
The big factories have significant affection to [...] plastic bag might be diminished little by little..
(I assumed, however the big factories same as the big industries which have produced the many kinds of rubbish, but your statement is opposite)

Keep writing!
Cheers^^


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 ( Full essay regarding environment in type of agree or disagree)
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳