Education Helps with Job Finding
At present, a wide range of people competes to gain a better life by collecting much money. One of ways to reach that is getting a job which they have to have a higher education or a college degree. Yet, some argue that is not a must for people acquire education, main point they have to start working after completing their school and gaining the experience in the job. In this case, I strongly believe that I disagree if the individuals have to work after finishing their basic school.
In globalization era, the competition of vacancies is very tight. It can be seen that the total of the human life population always increases year by year. For example, the populations of Indonesians approximately at 1.9 million people in 1990s, that increased to 2.2 million persons solely in 20 years later. This is proved that with the huge popularity compare with the same amount job fields. So, if people want to become breadwinners, they have to have several tricks like having best educational background or improving their language especially English with taking courses.
However, although the citizens after completing their studies, they think to how earn money. may they reckon how get it soon as possible, so they try to apply in many companies as a labour. This not wrong, but the experience that they obtain only in the small area since they cannot compete with a great deal of university graduater in the level of education. For instance, a school leaver who prefer to work for years, he will be lost with new comer who have better education. Instead he novel comer will get the higher position.
The aforementioned evidence that gaining education is more prominent particularly in looking or job although, they will not get experience for a while.
Dear Ardian,
I suggest some useful structures and word choices that you could apply to essays.
At present --> In modern days, In today's world, since the dawn of human beings
In this case, I strongly believe that I disagree --> However, from my perspective, I am strongly against this idea for two main reasons.
You should use more transitional phrases such as: First and foremost, furthermore, what is more, second of all, by way of conclusion.
Best regard,
Ryan
Irfan, the argument that you presented in this essay does not consider some important points that the people who support getting work experience right after school often present as the valid point in their argument. I am talking about the fact that some of the richest people in the world such as Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg, don't have any diploma's to speak of. They did not graduate from college and yet, through sheer work experience, they went on to become some of the richest men on the planet. So how will you argue that stance?
That is the main stance that you should have been countering in your essay. The information about the population and how college training is important in order to get a job seem moot and academic when you consider the background of these men, who all prove that getting a job after high school has more benefits that spending your time studying in college before even trying to get a job.
I would like you to rethink your argument in this essay. Make it more aligned towards the common known information about those people who decided to work after high school and did pretty well for themselves. There are a number of them who are not big name persons, but their live better lives and are the bosses of college graduates. Take that result into consideration and then create a stronger argument in support of your stand.
thank you very much @ vangiespen, I hesitated on my explanation particularly in the reason.