Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


'we gather in living room and talk about daily activities' - most important room



sayes 8 / 11  
Mar 31, 2014   #1
House plays a significant effect in our existence. We spend most of time of our lives living here .Diffrent people have various opinions about their best room .As far as I am concerned ,living room is the most important room in a house for several reasons.

One of the most important reason is we can have quality time with our family members in living room. Everyday when we come back from our work we gather in living room and talk about daily activities, work, study and people. For example, I remember two weeks back I had a very hectic day at my work. While I was returning home I got stuck in traffic for nearly one hour. I was stressed up when I reached home due to tiredsome. All the family members were sitting in the comfortable couch in the living room.They were talking about different issues on music, politics. I could feel the cool wind from the window and see garden from my living room.It helped me to rejuvenate my mind .I felt fresh and sooner I joined all of the people .We spend some time in living room everyday and it has improved our relationship. This experience taught me how important the living room helps in creating strong bond between each member of home.

The second reason is I can learn more .Everyday we watch various programmes like news, commedy shows, history channels with my family in the living room after dinner. We discuss about the various topics on news and I get lot of valuable information from my parents .For instance, yesterday we watched a talk show in television.I couldn't understand some ideas presented by the speaker.It was beyond my thought. My father provided me a lot of details on the subject which were discussed. I could broaden my knowledge as I get more knowledge from programmes and family. This is possible due to our living room only .This example clearly shows the importance of living room in our home.

In sum,the living room plays inevitable role in our lives.Not only it helps us by giving cosy atmosphere to spend some good time with the family but it also provides us a place to share and increase knowledge through television and family members.We all should spend some time in living room for our better development.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 31, 2014   #2
What is the purpose of writing this essay? Are you preparing for TOEFL or IELTS? Or is this a Common App question? It is not clear for us to understand for which purpose you wrote this :(

Better mention the purpose so that we would be able to provide you with more meaningful feed backs , I mean more task relevant.

The houseHouse plays a significant effectrole in our existence.lives. ... or;
The house where we live has a significant influence on our lives.
OP sayes 8 / 11  
Apr 1, 2014   #3
for toefl.I will include it in other essays of mine.Thanks
dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 6, 2014   #4
Ok, then is this for a Speaking Task? your title sounds like that. :D

The second reason is I can learn more .

Well, I think you need to improve presentation of this reason. This sentence is too abruptly ended :(

You can write well. Follow the same structure I have suggested (of course with minor changes as per the topic). It is pretty much a kind of one fit for all TOEFL essays :D

Wish you Good Luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / 'we gather in living room and talk about daily activities' - most important room
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳