Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Gender gap in the numerous occupations in today's society



dinhdaiviet 1 / -  
Feb 21, 2022   #1

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses


Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

It is obvious there is a gender gap in the numerous occupations in today's society. However, some remain with the opinion that females and males are born to have differences in terms of their vocational preferences. From my perspective, I disagree with the idea of excluding a certain gender from an occupation.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that a vast majority of jobs require gender. It is mainly due to their biological differences between men and women. Specifically, women are considered more caring and nurturing by nature, therefore they are suitable for nurseries as well as babysitters, while men predominate in construction, mining or logging because of their physical strength. In this case, the gender gap still remains at some point in the future.

On the other hand, making occupations open to both genders brings a wide range of benefits. First, different genders may bring into new views, which can generate the possibilities of the development and the success of the business or tackle ongoing problems. To illustrate, female police officers may have a wide understanding of domesticated violence and provide effective strategies with a view to dealing with the problems. Moreover, it is evident that a mix-gender working environment is proven to be more efficient. As a consequence, two genders can have a better performance and the business could benefit from this efficiency.

To summarize, although some occupations require gender, males and females now have the freedom of vocational choices . The business facilitating the equilibrium may have advantages on innumerable aspects.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Feb 21, 2022   #2
I disagree with

This is the writer's personal opinion regarding the given topic. A clear disagreement with the given points. This is supposed to be the foundation of the 2 supporting reasons. The writer misunderstood the discussion format and used a comparative discussion where a single opinion defense was required. 2 reasons in support of the defense. The way the writer presented the reasoning paragraphs creates an uncertain rather than certain opinion, creating a large deduction of points due to lack of opinion clarity.

The clear writer's opinion is negated by the evidence and reasoning paragraphs/ presentations. Of the 2 paragraphs, only the 2nd weak paragraph supports the opinion. That will recieve a partial but non-passing score. The discussion error becomes even more evident as one that will lead to a failing score based on the improper concluding summary.


Home / Writing Feedback / Gender gap in the numerous occupations in today's society
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳