Ghoulish House Description

In our class we had to write a description of a haunted house. This is my piece of work.

A cold, entrancing house looms in front of me. Barren, deserted land surrounds what was once a majestic home, and is now an abandoned ghost town. An iron gate cries and wails behind my frozen body as my eyes explore this haunted monstrosity. In a former life, this structure was a place for the wealthy and fortunate, now left to crumble away. Decaying paint peels off the walls, leaving rotting spits on the paintwork. Shattered glass lies around me , and destroyed windows tower above. A single movement of the trees sends a shower of bats up into the night sky. Wind howls around he body, making it creak and groan. Bare trees are knocked around with the powerful force, leaving them bent and close to collapsing on the ground. Once a dream house, now only inhabitable by the supernatural.

Hello, my edits are below,

A cold, entrancing house looms in front of me. ( Did you mean trancing?)

Barren, deserted land surrounds what was once a majestic home, and is now ( it is now ) an abandoned ghost town.

In a former life, this structure was a place for the wealthy and fortunate, now( it has been) left to crumble away. Shattered glass lies around me ( floating comma>) , and destroyed windows tower above.

A single movement of the trees sends a shower of bats up into the night sky. Wind howls around he (?) body, making it creak and groan. Bare trees are knocked around with the powerful force, leaving them bent and close to (nearly) collapsing on the ground.

Hi! You have a great start here! I was very engaged, the adjectives describing the house are spooky and haunting! Just make sure you point out certain details as you move further into the story like who is experiencing this? You? The reader? You described how you are surrounded by glass, then later speak of the house as if no one is there. Good luck on your edits!

an abandoned ghost town...

CORRECTED: an abandoned ghost house...

Youre saying that its the end of your vista, what you saw. Your eyes come to rest on the property!

wind howls around the body...

CORRECTED: wind howls around the building...

You have to make a distinction between you and the house. That's the tension! To keep this mood you keep the mentions of your person and the house separate. You are not a ghost, but are there in person, and describing it to the reader. Remember, you came through the gate?

A very vivid narration. Gives you chills! I think you did a great job!

Perhaps you could describe more of the interior and less of the exterior, to make it more spooky, and answer the assignment of it being about the house itself. Maybe you could mention what kind of people used to live there, or what kind of ghosts would be there.

Good luck!

ef_carol

In addition to prior comments, I would like to remind about a few typos and punctuations here:
Shattered glass lies around me ,
Wind howls around he body,

And the last sentence somehow failed to reach a climax in the description as you mentioned supernatural, which existence had not been build earlier. Prior descriptions all refer to an abandoned house that seemed ghoulish, not a haunted

You have a great ability to build the spooky atmosphere though.
Good luck!