I have about 40 minutes, with the length of 250 words. I have problem with structure, how can I overcome it?
Structure is easy. Your chief problem is with wordiness. You pile so many words into each sentence that, ironically, they end up saying very little.
For example, your first paragraph does nothing but restate the prompt. You fill it and other paragraphs up with empty phrases such as "to be precise" and "with reference to" while saying very little. Perhaps you were worried about the word count? Don't be! Just answering the prompt clearly and coherently will necessarily take the requisite number of words.
Now, structure: For An IELTS essay, you have just enough time to pound out a five paragraph essay, as follows:
I. Introduction, including statement of thesis.
II. First argument, with supporting evidence
III. Second argument, with supporting evidence
IV. Third argument, with supporting evidence
or refutation of a counter-argument
V. Conclusion, including restatement of thesis
In your introduction, try to say something interesting about the topic rather than simply restating the prompt. In your thesis statement, be sure to include the three arguments you will be explaining in the rest of the essay. The formula is "X because 1, 2, and 3."
Begin each body paragraph with a topic sentence that states its argument clearly. Then support the argument with logic and/or an example or two. If you are going to raise and refute a counter-argument in lieu of a third argument, do so simply, again prefacing the paragraph with a topic sentence such as "Some people believe ... but ..."
Begin your conclusion with a summary of your thesis and arguments and then offer some concluding thoughts. Here, and in your introduction, is where you can let your personality and unique viewpoint shine through.
This is, needless to say, a
very formulaic way to write an essay. I don't recommend it for real writing that is going out into the world to be read by an actual audience, as all of the overt thesis statements and topic sentences lead to dull and heavy-handed writing. But it is
the formula for timed essays of all sorts, some of which are actually graded by means of rubrics that give points for things like clear topic sentences.