It is good for young people to work before going to university to enrich their skill and experience

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Normally, many young people continue their study after graduate from high school. However, in some regions in the world before graduate students go to university, they are urged to work and travel for a year. This idea has some advantages and disadvantages and this essay will discuss the notion.

Young people who have job after graduate from high school will learn how to manage their time better than before. Because we all know, that work world has certain regulation that has to be followed by employees. They will get some advantages like experiences itself and time management ability than ordinary university students. For instance, young people who have worked as sales will know more how to count marketing results and its profit. Their knowledge about marketing is also more than others' knowledge. They will be fast to understand because they have experienced it. Moreover, if they work in other city, it will train them to be independent people who can manage their life without depending on their parents.

However, some disadvantages will be experienced by graduate student when they postpone their study at university like when they getting convenience work will make them to think again to continue their study after a year work experience. Taking an example in my friend, she has worked after she finished her study at high school. Her job brings a high salary above standard of UMR, but her mother wants her has a university degree. Nevertheless, my friend do not want to continue her study since she thinks that she has been lucky working at good and convenience job, while after university it will end to find job again. She also thinks that her university friends have young age than hers, which it is not comfortable for her. So, it will be one reason to do not to continue their study at university.

To sum up, it is good for young people to work before going to university to enrich their skill and experience. However, convenience job sometimes maintain graduate high school students to continue working then study at university. 346w

Nur, your line of reasoning in this essay is choppy. There are inconsistencies in your flow of thought and you often times do not get your message across to the reader. These problems are due to your lack of ability in terms of developing your sentences. Your grammar is weak and your sentences are limited to simple declarations which make for limited sentence structure. While your message eventually gets across to the reader, it takes the full concentration of the reader to actually begin to understand your meaning.

I am not sure if you were informed by your instructor but when developing these sorts of essay discussions, it is best to discuss one topic per paragraph in order to fully develop your support or opposition to a provided reason. In your second paragraph, you presented two reasons, which left the latter reason under developed because you ran out of space to expand upon it. As such, your line of reasoning was affected because you seemed to not have enough evidence to support the later addition in the paragraph. Had you given that line its own paragraph concentration, you would have been able to develop the reasons to support the statement better.

Your conclusion also requires more information that what you presented. An effective conclusion properly summarizes the discussion and its important points, before presenting the concluding statement. Over all, a total of 3 sentences should be seen in that section.