Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Young people work after graduating from senior high school and before entering university

mita23 34 / 37 3  
Feb 28, 2016   #1
Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Having a job is one of the pleasures that people can obtain. Nowadays, it is common to see young people work after graduating from senior high school and before entering university. In my opinion, there are benefit and drawback of this phenomenon.

Concerning to the merit, taking a job can make youth have great experience because in the workplace, the young worker can learn practical work. To illustrate, students who spend their time after graduating from school for working tend to have more applicable ability rather than those who join the university directly, like working as labor in certain food companies. They will know how to operate the sophisticated machine, how to interact with their leader and how to produce the high quality of foods, which consist of complicated receipts. As a result, their knowledge about specific object that they immerse on it are greater than that of their peers. Therefore, there is no doubt that taking a part in particular job is useful for teenagers in order to enlarge their intelligence practically.

However, there is demerit of this occupation, such as lack of detail scientific theory. Putting scholars in distinct occupation will restrict their ability in elaborating phenomenon based on scientific research because in work, there is no deep definition of what occur and how something can be happened. For instance, although people who work in electronic trade know how to construct the element of electricity becoming one set of digital equipment, they never know about what the reaction can be happen among the parts of the electricity on cutting-edge device.

To sum up, the positive effect of the trend on which teenager should have job before attending university is full of functional ability while the negative side of it is insufficiency of methodical theory.

Ssakshijain 28 / 146 87  
Feb 28, 2016   #2
Hi mita, you are continuously improving in your essays. Keep practicing and are you practicing them in a timed manner? What important is you writing in pressure of limited time given by these exams. So if you haven't yet, start practicing with a time limit now.

............there areboth benefits and drawbacks of this phenomenon.

Doing a job can help teenagers to gain moreexperience because in the workplace, they can learn practical work. .......................... complicated receipts.(what is receipts in this?)As a result, ........ specific objectsubjectthat they immerse on itareis greater ........... order to enlargeenhance their intelligence practically.

Your disadvantage is good but I think that can not be the reason. People do jobs in the middle of studies, they will pursue education and then they will know these reasons. They will do the research. In my opinion, how can you modify the disadvantage is by saying that:

If they get interested in jobs, they might think that they are getting money without study and may drop the idea of university education. Due to which, they will lack the basic scientific theory behind the job. Then you can rephrase your example according to this. Hope you are getting my point?

To sum up,.............. theory.
To sum up, doing jobs before university education increases their working capability whereas it can also divert them from studies leading to insufficient scientific knowledge.

Home / Writing Feedback / Young people work after graduating from senior high school and before entering university