Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Essay about whether government should be responsible for education and healthcare



zengzhiz 1 / -  
Sep 16, 2018   #1

a government's core function



Some people say that governments should pay for the public health care and education, while others say that it is not the government's responsibility. Please discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There has been a constant contention put forward that the governments should be responsible for public welfare. This essay discusses both sides of this argument, and then I will give my own perspective which is the governments should hold accountable for the public services as they must pay back to its taxpayers

On the one hand, some people think that pouring money on the public health care and the education can reduce the national competition of one country. Both health care and education cost a huge amount of money to build schools and hospitals, and also long-term costs such as recruiting and operation will incurred. As a consequence, the governments have to invest more money on this public welfare, while other important sectors such as technological innovation will be underfunded, which weaken the competitive advantages of the whole country.

On the one hand, some people think that pouring money on the public health care and the education can reduce the national competition of one country. Both health care and education cost a huge amount of money to build schools and hospitals, and also long-term costs such as recruiting and operation will incurred. As a consequence, the governments have to invest more money on this public welfare, while other important sectors such as technological innovation will be underfunded, which weaken the competitive advantages of the whole country.

Personally, I believe the governments welfare services should be funded by governments, which is a way of paying back to the taxpayers. Governments collect tax revenue from people and invest money into various sectors to improve the quality of people's life, and this is the reason why the governments exist.

In conclusion, although the public welfare imposes financial burdens on the governments, which may reduce the competitive advantage, I think it should be responsible for it, as this is the core function of a government and also a way of paying back to taxpayers

Can any one give me a band score for this, thanks!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Sep 17, 2018   #2
Zeng, you are using too many memorized phrases in this essay for it to be considered a piece of original work. You use the same template for each discussion paragraph and only change a few key phrases so that it represents one of each discussion points. Easy for you to write? Yes, good for your scoring? A big fat NO! You are proving to the examiner that you can only memorize key words in English but you are not capable of varying your presentations in order to prove a strong English vocabulary.

Your opening paraphrase alone sounds like it has been memorized many times over from your book lessons rather than you learning how to properly develop original sentences. This essay is not presented in a manner that will get it a passing score because you did not put much effort into writing it. While your reasoning is good, the way you presented it shows that memory work was involved rather than analysis and thinking.

This being your first essay here and due to the memorization feature of your presentation, I am not going to score this essay. You know what your possible score for this will be. I will score your next essay, the one that shows more variation in writing skills and other scoring considerations. This one, just shows a lot of memory work in your writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / Essay about whether government should be responsible for education and healthcare
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳