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Should governments impose more tax on fast food to avoid health problems on people - IELTS Writing 2



NgocHuy1707 1 / 1  
Mar 10, 2021   #1

junk foods taxation to counter obesity



In some developing countries, the number of people being mortality for heart disease and obesity is becoming more and more remarkable. Most of people believe that fast food such as: Fried chicken; Mashed potatoes; Canned food... is the main factor of this health problems and the same to me. Therefore I agree that governments should impose more tax and so forth on fast food to protect public health.

First of all, when we force more tax on fast food, we can both have money (from tax) for some activities as local charities, poor people... and reduce the intake of fat from fast food because it will make the price of fast food increase for a long time and people will give up it. It's just like an "one shot, two kills" effect. In details, many researches from famous doctors on some big journals in Europe have show that the bad amino - acid from fast food can destroy and inactivate your immune systems through time. Finally your body can't stand with the environment any more and let the virus invade and dominate your immune systems.

Secondly, the amount of money collected from tax can be used to raise awareness of people about healthy care. Nowadays, the young are becoming uncontrollable to what they are eating. As a result, more and more young people being under thirty year old are positive to cancers. This is a warning bell for all the governments and health organizations must do something to increase the general public's knowledge to protect our future generations.

Last but not least, increasing tax is equivalent to force fast food chains to change their recipes and process in order to make a better food for everyone. When they create a better product, the governments can have mercy on their effort and reduce tax. This seem to be an effective way to both protect the consumers and enterprises in the next years.

In conclusion, the fast food industry is becoming far more popular to consumers as its convenience. However, the bad effect of them is potential. Imposing tax may be the best way to keep people away from using this bad indulgence!

[ THANKS FOR READING END OF MY ESSAY ^^, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHICH BAND THAT I ACHIEVE AND YOUR RECOMMENDATION?. HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND BEST WISHES TO YOU!]

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Mar 10, 2021   #2
BAND SCORING = PRIVATE SERVICE, CONTACT US PRIVATELY. STUDENT SCORING = BAN !

There is no need to over discuss the presentation, leading you to write more words than the actual 40 minute time allowance requires. Learn to spot the difference in prompt instructions so that you will not over write in the presentation. All essays are 4 paragraph presentations except for essays that instruct you to "discuss both points of view and give an opinion". That is a 5 paragraph essay.

Avoid using special punctuation marks such as ellipses in the presentation paragraphs as you are writing an academic essay, not a creative story. This being an extent essay requires you to give a measured response based on a single or two opinions. So when you said "I agree", you lack the extent reference which is the strength of your belief in this opinion ( Strongly, partially, wholly, to the extent that...)

Like I previously said, there are only 2 reasoning paragraphs required for this essay. The third reason would have created a more cohesive discussion presentation had you chosen to us that instead of the current 2nd reason. Remember that your reasons need to have a sense of cohesiveness or a relationship between the reasons to help increase your C&C score.
OP NgocHuy1707 1 / 1  
Mar 10, 2021   #3
@Holt
Thank you so much for your help!


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