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The grade of school of Bulgarian students who were anxious to leave their country and stay abroad


andika08 81 / 80 16  
Sep 26, 2016   #1
The chart shows the grade of school of Bulgarian student who be anxious to leave and stay in abroad in 2001, 2006 and 2008.
The greatest grade for student who live abroad is the category of secondary education. The percentage of people in this domination is 65% in 2002. A percentage of student in 2006 have little differences at 4 %. However, only 59% of the category in 2008.

The most grade for student about primary and lower education is thirty two percent in 2008. A percentage in the 2006 have 19% also in 2008 there is slightly differences at 1%.

Significant percentage seen in the last category about higher education have lowest percentage at 9%. Student in 2006 have the highest percentage at 20%. On the other hand, in 2002 have number percentage at 17%.

In conclusion, all the group experience the same categories to some extent, the domination about secondary education have the higgest percentage from the others.



akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Sep 27, 2016   #2
Hi Andika.
These are my thoughts for your writing. Please, you meet my notes and deal with them.


student who be anxious

be careful of paraphrasing the statement. the word "anxious" is by far different with the origin meaning of the statement. It will make your score falls down to less than 6.

The greatest grade for student who live abroad is the category of secondary education

It cannot represent the data because you only describe separately. What students do you mean in this.?? You should write like this.
MOST OF BULGARIANS' CITIZENS HAD THE PLAN TO CONTINUE THEIR ACTIVITIES IN ANOTHER COUNTRY AFTER THEY FINISH THE EDUCATION IN A SECONDARY SCHOOL.

The percentage of people in this domination is 65% in 2002. A percentage of student in 2006 have little differences at 4 %. However, only 59% of the category in 2008.

You have missed the essential point of the writing task 1. Your job in this circumstance is to compare the figures, not describe them separately. Keep in your mind that one of task responds is comparing the data

In conclusion, all the group experience the same categories to some extent, the domination about secondary education have the higgest percentage from the others.

you are supposed to make a paragraph consisting of more than 2 sentences to be the good paragraph. Therefore, you should include overview in the first paragraph. In fact, you placed the overview in the last paragraph. However, you create it as a conclusion. Keep in your mind that the writing task 1 does not have the conclusion as you cannot give your opinion in illustration of the data. You only can write the summary of the information which is well-known as the overview. Why I suggest you locate the overview in the first paragraph because you have limited time, approximately 20 minutes for writing task 1. I am afraid that you do not have time to write it so that your score can fall down less than 6.

I really hope these can help you to improve your skill
I really believe you can master this on condition that you wanna practice more and more.
Keep Fighting
GOOD LUCK


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