IELTS Writing Task 1: The graph illustrates how the population has changed from 2003 to 2050

the populatiON Rate of Argentina, Indonesia, Italy, and the Republic of Korea

Hi. I am self-studying for the IELTS exam, I'm trying to get a band 7.0 in writing skills and here is one of my tasks 1 writing, I would be so grateful if I could get feedback on my mistakes and how to improve my writing. Thank you!

The graph illustrates how the population has changed from 2003 to 2050 in four countries namely: Argentina, Indonesia, Italy, and the Republic of Korea.

As can be seen from the graph, Indonesia has the highest proportion in the period, while Argentina has the lowest proportion.

In the year 2003, Indonesia has the highest population, at 238 million. In the next 23 years, Indonesia's proportion reached 274 million people. The period from 2025 to 2050 has an impressive percentage reached at peak of the graph, at 312 million approximately twice more than in 2003.

Meanwhile, in the year 2003, three other countries were three times lower than Indonesia in the same period. Argentina and Italy have a near population in the year 2025. Furthermore, the Republic of Korea has a higher percentage, at 52 million people. In 2050, Argentina is the highest proportion of three countries, at 62, million people.

The essay is one word short of the minimum word count of 150. This is not an essay that would qualify for a passing score based on certain writing considerations. The first being that it does not meet the minimum word count. You also show a lack of familiarity with time frame references as you cannot properly describe a future tense situation in the essay. You are describing the future with a past tense tone. You then proceeded to discuss the past information with a present tense tone. These will lead to a failing GRA score based on the confusion the reader will experience while reading the incorrectly analyzed and discussed information. Familiarize yourself with time reference indicators and how to develop simple sentences using it before you attempt to write a similar essay in the future.