Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Writing Task 1: The graph line shows which three sectors global water consumed during a century



PHA2016 39 / 38  
Sep 16, 2016   #1
The graph line shows which is three sectors global water consumed during a century. And table shows two countries which using water in 2000. Over all, global consuming water trend has majority to agriculture unlike household sector leveled to minority. On the other hand, Brazil is watered large people and land while Congo in Africa which is water consumed a few proportion.

In worldwide water, farming sector had been increased dramatically three times since in year 1900 at around 500 to 3000 cubic. Industrial sector had responsible by using water at international scale that increased gradually at approximately one 15000 cubic. However, consuming water in public sector not significantly to 5 percent of total global consumption.

Whereas water consumption around year 2000 in two countries that the first, Brazil they had huge of number people that needed around 26,500 km watering of land and provided 359 cubic water per person. While Congo's republic, one percent total people of Brazil should be provided about 5 million people, square 100 km. interestingly, it was water consuming less than Brazil in year 2000


  • Writing_task_4__Glo.jpg


rosadesiana 38 / 38  
Sep 16, 2016   #2
Hi PHA2016,
here are my suggestions,

==> The graph line shows which is three sectors of global water consumed during a century

==> AndThe table shows (...) using water in 2000 (the water use in 2 different country in 2000)

==> Over alloverall, the global consuming water ...

==> On the other hand, Brazil is watered large people ( I do not get what do you mean in this sentence) and land while Congo ...

==> In worldwide water(the water in worldwide) , farming sector had been increased dramatically three times since in year 1900

==> ... in two countries that the first , (shown that) Brazil (is the first country which)they had huge of number peoplea huge number of people that needed around ...

keep writing !


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: The graph line shows which three sectors global water consumed during a century
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳