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The graph shows the impact of vaccinations on the incidence of whooping cough, a childhood illness



vvvvvvv121 1 / 2  
Jul 12, 2021   #1

vaccination in the uk and whooping cough



The line graph illustrates the changes of the incidence of whooping cough before and after having vaccination from 1940 to 2010 in the United Kingdom.

It is clear that before taking vaccine, the number of reported cases of whooping cough were relatively higher with almost 180,000 cases at most. After the policy of vaccination declared, cases dramatically dropped under 100,000 in 1957. Moreover, with the rate of taking vaccine got higher, the reported cases reached lower figure.

From 1940 to 1956, before having vaccination, the cases of whooping cough were hard to control, it saw a significant increase in 1940 then dropped to under 100,000 between 1943 and 1950, and went up again to above 170,000 in 1955. On the other hand, after having vaccine, the disease was controlled, the number of cases was never above 65,000 anymore. Additionally, with high percentage of children got vaccinated, the disease was nearly gone by 2010.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Jul 13, 2021   #2
Due to the lack of image, I cannot accurately say that the summary overview is correctly presented. I cannot be sure that the information provided is correct either. The essay is lacking a proper trending statement.That should be located at the end of the summary overview as that is a summary of the measurement trend. A trending sentence does not include actual measurement values.

Regardless of how one looks at the presentation, a proper additional paragraph is missing. Based on the provided data, it appears that should be a 4 paragraph presentation. Perhaps the student did not properly getup the measurements for the report. The sentence starting with

On the other hand,

indicates a new topic discussion and should have been formatted as a new paragraph. Yes, that is where the missing 4th paragraph went.
khangnguyen2007 1 / 1  
Jul 14, 2021   #3
You should have sent the image alongside with your writing, no specific statistic should be included in the overview. You should have at least 2 body paragraphs in order to distribute the information evenly. The overall trend was missed out in your writing.


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