Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city


Uyennhi203 1 / 1  
Dec 20, 2021   #1

Tourist Information Office in numbers



The line graphs delineates how many questions were received by the Tourist Information Office in the particular city from January to June in 2011.

Overall, there was an increase in the number of inquiries in person and by telephone received by the Tourist Information Office, while the figure for letters or mails became the less common choice. In addition, the number of queries through letters or emails was generally the lowest figure throughout the given period.

From January to March in 2011, about 950 inquiries in person were received by the Tourist Information Office in January, with subsequent decrease to reach the lowest point at exactly 800 queries in February, and a final progressive increase to 1000 enquiries in March. The figure for r dungletters or mails saw an opposite change, but to a large extent, dropping from 800 inquiries to 700 inquiries in the first three-month period. Meanwhile, the number of enquiries made in person was at just under 800 in January, followed by a significant growth from 800 to 1000 from February to March, surpassing the figure for telephone.

Regarding April to June, the number of queries in person received by the Tourist Information Office started at approximately 900 queries, after which it experienced a dramatic rise to 1400 in May, before ending the period at roughly 1600. Opposite changes can be seen in the figure for emails or letters, which decreased from 500 to 390 from April to June. Meanwhile, the number of inquiries made in person was at just under 1300 in April, followed by a significant increase from 1600 to 1800 during the last three-month period.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,857 4179  
Dec 20, 2021   #2
Remember that the time limit for this writing task is 20 minutes and the word count is between 175-200 words for maximum scoring potential. You wrote 273 words, a word count and essay presentation more suitable to a task 2 essay that has a 250 minimum word count and 40 minutes for the writing task. This essay is overwritten and cannot be completed within the time allowance during an actual test. This is the first and foremost problem with this presentation. You need to keep your 3 paragraph presentation short, summarized, but analyzed. Practice writing without over extending the presentation using filler words. Shorten the sentences. Focus on short analytical presentations so as not to overwrite and, in the process, run out of writing time.

I will end my review at this point. I do not believe that it will be fair to assess your work when it does not fall within the correct word count requirement. I have to be fair in judging your work. I can only do that if you provide the correct writing format for this task.
OP Uyennhi203 1 / 1  
Dec 20, 2021   #3
Thank you very much. You were right. This is a essay for Writting task1 for ielts and Do I make mistakes else?


Home / Writing Feedback / The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city