Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


The graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars - Writing TASK



Terminal23 6 / 9  
Sep 1, 2016   #1
The graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars and sweets, and carbonated drinks between 1978 and 2009.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The chart displays prices alterations for fresh food and vegetables, sugars, and sweet, and carbonat drinks from 1978 to 2009.
The most noticeable trend is that fresh fruits and vegetables increase over the period. Consumer price index slope slightly until 2009, upon which it rose steadily. Whereas sugar and sweets and carbonat drinks remained relatively stable between 1991 and 2003.

Fresh fruits and vegetables started at just below 60 in 1979. Increasing show obviosly 100 up to 200 only 5 years between 1991 and 1995. From 1995 to 2009 fresh fruits and vegetables dramatically increase almost catch up 350.

From 1991 to 2009 three of price about (sugar and sweets, consumer price index and carbonat drinks) just below 150 stabled. It is started rose above 50 in 2007. All of kind continue to escalate reach 2009. Over the entire period never fell drastically until 2009.


  • 14192716_12243116409.jpg


RezaAnandatama17 8 / 13  
Sep 2, 2016   #2
The chart displays prices alterations for fresh food and vegetables, sugars, and sweet, and carbonat drinks(we call it as shopping listing-please avoid mentioning your notionrespectively) from 1978 to 2009.

... slope slightly until 2009, upon which it rose steadily.
... relatively stable between 1991 and 2003. (do not make it specific by mentioning the year but put such detail one in the paragraph 2 or 3)
dinartika19 37 / 66  
Sep 2, 2016   #3
Hi Terminal!

1. Your summarise is under 150 words, you will get a penalty if doing this. It's better if your words contain 160 - 170 words.
2. There are many redudancy in your summarise, here the alternative you can use in your summarise

noun :
decline / incline
decrease/increase
drop
full
an upward/downward
growth
rise
fluctuation
jump
plunge
rocket


adjective :

dramatic
gradual
large
marked
minimal
rapid
sharp
significant
slight
slow
small
steady
steep
sudden
Ilmi_03 47 / 67  
Sep 2, 2016   #4
Hi, Terminal :)

The chartline graph displays the prices alterations for three kinds of food-stufffood stuff fresh food and vegetables, sugars... from 1978 to 2009.

The most noticeable trend is that fresh fruits and ... [too general]Alternative --> It is noticeable that while the cost of all items saw an upward trend, the figure for fresh fruits and vegetables are the highest over the period.

It is better to divide your entire writing to several paragraphs or groups. So, the readers can follow it easily.
Besides that, makes certain in which point you will start to explain the figures.
There are some rambling sentences, particularly related to the time reference.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1170  
Sep 2, 2016   #5
Hi there..., thank you for sharing your essay here. Without further ado, let me give some valuable feedback.

It is always good to leave one space every time you write a new paragraph. This makes your writing easy to read. More importantly, you are more likely to control how many words are written in a paragraph.

The chart displays prices alterations for fresh food and vegetables, sugars, and sweet, and carbonat drinks from 1978 to 2009.

This is a good intro, but it seems that this sentence are very similar to the the original one, and therefore this will deduct your score. I think you'd better switch it into the passive one. Here it is: A clear comparison of how the prices of fresh fruits and vegetables, sugar and sweets, and carbonated drinks change during the period in question is presented in the line graph.

fresh fruits and vegetables increase

An significant increase was seen in the price of fresh fruits and vegetables

fresh fruits and vegetables dramatically increase almost catch up 350.

The figure for the price of fresh fruits and vegetables increased dramatically and virtually reached a peak of 350%

I strongly suggest reading sample answers as many as you can. This helps you improve your grammar, vocabulary and ideas related to IELTS essays. Hope this helps :D

A heap of luck
Att98 5 / 5  
Sep 30, 2016   #6
Hello terminal23, i have some suggestions for you.

The chart displays ==> (you can paraphrase the word with shows, illustrates, describes, intences) prices alterations for fresh (...), and sweet, andas well as carbonat drinks ...

Fresh fruits and vegetables started at (you can paraphrase the word with stood at) just below 60 in 1979.
... fruits and vegetables dramatically increase increased dramatically almost catch up 350.
From 1991 to 2009 three of prices about (sugar and sweets, consumer price index and carbonat drinks) just below 150 stabled.


Home / Writing Feedback / The graph below shows relative price changes for fresh fruits and vegetables, sugars - Writing TASK
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳