Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


Happiness degree in percent related to relationship status and the effect of children appearance



faizunaa17 49 / 66  
Oct 28, 2016   #1
IELTS Writing Task 1 : Cambridge Book 5.5 - 6.5 TASK 1 UNIT 7 PAGE 76

These two bar charts provide information about happiness degree in percent related to relationship status and the effect of children appearance in the spouse life in United States. Overall, both of them don't reach fifty percent. It is also shown that connubial people have double happiness than unmarried except 65 and other that don' reach two times.

It is already illustrated that youngest people who already married, have the highest happiness rating at 45 percent. In contrast, 50-64 years old have the lowest value at 40 percent. Both 30-49 and 65 over have the same place at 44 percent. In addition, nonmarital people have almost half exaltation compared with wedded people, except the oldest people that have 34 percent.

There are only slight different of marital people who have pupils or not, so we can conclude that children have little effect to make them happy. It divided into three groups; teenagers under 18, children 18+, and no children. Their percentage are 44 percent, 41 percent, and 43% respectively.


  • Image


akbarmappiare 31 / 445  
Oct 28, 2016   #2
Hi Faiz..
These are my corrections to finalize yours.


... about happiness degreeS in percentAGE related to relationship (...) the spouse life in United States . Overall, both of them don't DO NOT (Never ever use contraction in the formal writing) reachfifty percent.(Avoid mentioning detailed information in the overview) It is also shown that connubial ...

... people who already married, have the highest happiness ...
... people have almost half AS MUCH exaltation compared ...

... people who have pupils(Be careful of paraphrasing. Don't change meaning) or not, so we can ...

Note: You are supposed to reread before you upload. make you sure that what you write is what you mind, especially paraphrasing.


Home / Writing Feedback / Happiness degree in percent related to relationship status and the effect of children appearance
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳