Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3


HARD TIMES; My little son's surgery


mitu63 1 / 1  
Aug 13, 2013   #1
My little son will die soon; every one denied it except me. I have always look at him with disappointment, and thinking about, is this boy really mine? I m so strong, but this baby is so weak. He inherits nothing except a restless eye. Doctors said to me that Illness was a rare disease which gave not a lot of time to patient. They told we have two ways. Living with a little chance or doing very dangerous surgery.

The Negative thought invading my mind. I hear a roaring noise in my head. Thinking about my son death and his burial is painful, it will be terrified for he.. How could I leave my son with worms alone? I wish I could keep him in his bed fore ever. I though if his living is not long lasting will he grow up in other word? Will he fall in love there?

I think I have reached an impasse. My family notifies me that I have not so much time it ,s going bad to worse. Seconds is valuable.

҉҉҉ ҉҉҉
I seat in doctors office, tears rolling down my cheeks, I asks the doctor, if this was your son, what would you do?
He replied: I would do surgery.
Do it ", I said."
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 13, 2013   #2
Doctors said to me that Illness was a rare disease which gave not a lot of time to patient.

.... Hmmmmmm some things is not right here :( I guess this is what you wanted to say;
Doctors said that this is a rare disease that does not give too much time for us to make a decision.

They told we have two ways.

According to them, we had two options;

Thinking about my son deathdead and his burial is painful,

Imagining my son's death and the painful burial.
OP mitu63 1 / 1  
Aug 13, 2013   #3
Dear dumi, tanks for notify me those points. What do you think about coherence and cohesion in my story?


Home / Writing Feedback / HARD TIMES; My little son's surgery
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳