Having an enjoyable job or good salary to a better life? IELTS Task 2

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Working preference is widely concerned nowadays. Some people claim that gaining much money will lead to a well-being. It is believed that money also can be drawback such as materialistic lifestyle. However, I argue that pleasure job also should be considers as the merits.

This idea affects the people's behavior in full filling their daily needs. Citizens is likely more consumptive to buy unnecessary goods such as the newest cars or houses. However, those wealthy does not guaranteed their happiness. A 2010 Gadjah Mada Universities research pointed out that well being were presented by : achievement at school or workplace, peer relationship, family and religious. Furthermore, it is clear that money does not always make people happier.

However, this does not mean that working should be ignoring in society. Firstly, pleasure job seems to rise the positive mood and wellness, while the salary is not spectacular. In addition, challenging task also can stimulate people to be more productive. Following this reason, productive people seems to equal with healthy body since they think and act frequently. Likewise, charity activities play a significant role for people to reach mental health. A survey is held among volunteers who work for handicapped people in England at 2012, 80% of them rise a well being.

The aforementioned evidence shows that money is notified as the factor of wellness. One of the drawback has resulted from this issues is a materialistic lifestyle. This is in stark contrast to other arguing there are other factors involved : pleasure job, a challenging task and charity. Where possible , people should consider to think deeply before they find a job.

Hello, I will help you with your essay. I want to focus on word order so that your sentences can be understood. This will help to improve your writing.

1st paragraph: Working preference is widely concerned nowadays-Change the order of this sentence to: "Today, some are concerned about their work preference." This sentence will now lead to the next sentence where you use "some people". The next sentence place "better" before well-being.

You need a better transition for the next sentence, here is a suggestion: "Yet, it is a belief that money also can be have drawbacks such asbecause it can lead to a materialistic lifestyle. If you use because, the reader can understand that a materialistic lifestyle is a drawback.

The last sentence word choice is important and needs to relate to the question: "Personally, I argue that a pleasurable job also should be considered over money".

2nd paragraph: The second paragraph, does not begin in a way that would help the reader to understand that the first discussion is about earning a lot of money. Here is a simple way to begin: "Some people have the idea to earn a lot of money." By stating some people and using idea, this will will help you transition to your next sentence. The following sentence change this word to: "fulfilling".

3rd paragraph: You should delete these words: ignoring in society . Simply add the word "boring" in its place. This sentence needed correction: Firstly, a pleasurable job seems to rise the increase a positive mood and wellness, while even if the salary is not spectacular. I would use the word increase rather than raise because a positive mood and wellness can be increased.

Change this word to "tasks". The next sentence, "seem to have a healthy". Change charity to "charitable". The last sentence check your source again because there are errors in this sentence.

4th paragraph: I'm unsure about the next sentence because you use the word notified. Do you mean notably a factor of wellness? Correct this sentece: "One of the drawbacks that has resulted from this issue is a materialistic lifestyle." The next sentence the word should be plural; "others arguing" This is only a suggestion for the last sentence: Instead of using where, you could use "when it is an option". Delete consider to.

People have different opinions to define a better life. For some others, they argue that working with good salary leads to overall well-being, while others claim that it is compulsory to love their jobs so as to reach the feeling of being happy. Therefore, I believe that with the aim of happiness, other factors, such as positive environment and working hours should be taken into consideration.

You need to pay particular attention to your opening paragraph by introducing it with more appealing tone .

hope this helps, eddy suaib.