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How having an offspring of different ages affects the parents' level of happiness?


irfan727 49 / 68 29  
Sep 20, 2015   #1
Task 1 IELTS - the level of happiness of parents with children of different ages

The pie charts compare the percentage of parents' happiness with having children in different ages. Overall, what stands out from the charts reveal that the total of parents with toddlers are higher than the number of parents with teenage children and it can be seen that the percentage of elders who dissatisfied with their children virtually same in a low score.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, the most significant data are in the number of parents who have very young children indicated very happy at 47 per cent which this is different by 10 per cent of the percentage of people who have teenage children. Other categories, the value of the parents who are fairly happy gained considerable improvement as 11% from transient time toddler to juvenile. The last, the amount of citizens who unhappy with their children almost stagnant in the few numbers below 5%. In conclusion, the level of parent's happiness has fallen when their toddlers become teenagers.




vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 20, 2015   #2
Hi Irfan. The report is acceptable and contains only a few grammar corrections. I am also rewording some of the sentences for clarity. I'll list them below for your reference.

The pie charts compare the percentage of parents' happiness with having children in different ages.

- There is no need to use an apostrophe in this sentence as the word "parents" is the plural form that connotes ownership. Also, an apostrophe after the S is only acceptable when the word itself originally ends in an S.

Overall, what stands out from the charts reveal that the total of parents with toddlers are higher than the number of parents with teenage children

- This sentence can be tightened to produce a more concise thought process by omitting the above words. Also, this sentence discusses a different topic from the continuing sentence and therefore should end with a period after the word children.

and it can be seen that the percentage of elders who dissatisfied with their children virtually same in a low score.

- This should be rewritten as follows: The percentage of elders who are dissatisfied with their children have virtually the same low score.

Moving to a more detailed analysis, the most significant data are in the number of parents who have very young children indicated very happy at 47 per cent which this is different by 10 per cent of the percentage of people who have teenage children.

- Moving on to more detailed analysis, the most significant data indicates that the number of parents who have very young children resulted in 47% of them being happy. A difference of 10% from the percentage of people with teenage children.

the amount of citizens who unhappy with their children almost stagnant in the few numbers below 5%. In conclusion, the level of parent's happiness has fallen when their toddlers become teenagers.

-... who are unhappy with their childrenare almost stagnant... parent's happiness falls when their toddlers...

I hope my comments and suggestions help.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 20, 2015   #3
I can help you with your summary.

I think you should end the first sentence with "different age groups". The next sentence contains some errors. I think this part of the sentence needs to be deleted: the total of parents with toddlers are higher than the number of parents with teenage children . The pie chart reveals emotions such as happy, fairly happy, and unhappy. I did not see the number of parents. However, parents with young children seem to be happier, but only by 1%. (If you add the percentages of happy and fairly happy for teenagers and young children, the difference is very low.)

Also, this sentence states elders rather than "parents". You could state: "It can be seen that the percentage of parents who are dissatisfied with their children are very low."

Here is a suggestion for your last sentence in your essay: "In conclusion, the level of parent's happiness has fallen decreases when their toddlers very young children become teenagers."


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