Wirawi, your essay is quite good. It looks at the major sides of the issue and you discuss it to the extent of your knowledge. I have some suggestions to make regarding content and grammar though. I will list is below for your reference :-)
I agree with the statement. Using alternative forms of medicine is harmful and there is no guarantee that the method will be effective, or sometimes it will be even worse. - Prior to stating your position, you should have paraphrased the prompt first. That would have made the introductory statement a solid piece of writing.
Malfuntion of using alternative forms of medicine can cause a death or serious illness.
of alternative forms of ...
Lack of medical knowledge
maybe one of several factors of this trend. Not all of the people understand about the use of medicine, and sometimes they take that way just as what they hear from everybody else . They do not even know what the effects of the alternative medicine are. This bad habit is increasing in non-educated society where people live without any medical facilities or drugstore properly . Another factor is the expense of the medicine. Example, middle-low society that has limited money cannot afford the medicine they need, so they will deal with the alternative medicine which tends to be cheaper.
- ... may be
one of... several factors affecting
this trend...sometimes they just take medications based upon referrals from other people
... factor is the cost
of the ... Lower income people buy alternative medicines because that is what they can afford.
However, the need
of health is unquestionable, people will do everything to be healthy and healedfrom their kinds of sick . This situation will drive the people to say "no matter what", either doctor or witch doctor is the same. If they have money, they will go with medicine, but on the contrary, if they have no money, they will go with the alternative medicine. That is the choice that poor people should make .
- ... the need for adequate healthcare
is ... be healthy and heal their illnesses
. This situation is what drives people to see either a doctor or alternative healthcare doctor. If they don't have money for a real doctor, then they don't have money for real medicines either. So they make the choice to use alternatives instead.
In this case, to avoid the use of alternative forms of medicine needs a professional help, like doctors or medical researches, to give advices to the society. Besides, government in each country, especially in developing countries, should build a better medical facilities which is less-cost and easy-to-get.- I think you need to explain this statement further in support of your aforementioned paragraph. Merge the two contents in order to develop a stronger paragraph.
The mainpoint is ; health is a primary need. The people will not think twice about which is proper, or which is not. - You need to restate the prompt and your point of view in the conclusion. A revision is in order for this part so I will not advice you about correcting any part of this yet. I will wait to see what your revised conclusion might be before I give you advice.
They just want to get health whatever it is . Going with the alternative medicine is not all wrong, but it has many risks. Ineffective and dangerous method are some of the bad effects of it, So people need to be more careful.