The historic (1985) and projected data (2035) of the population age in the United Kingdom

The chart shows the percentage of population aged 65 and over in 1985, and creates prediction for 2035. It compares figure for the UK's ageing during a half century.

Overall, the proportion of population for age 65 years and over which higher was Wales between 1985 and 2035. Beside that, the number of population with same age the lower was Nothern Ireland.

The figure for in 1985, England and UK has the same percentage around 15%. Futhermore, the aging people in Scotland still below England. Next, the proportion of Wales and Nothern Ireland were the highest and lowest almost 20 percent and 15 percent respectively. After 50 years later, the percentage of population aged 65 and over for England, UK, and Nothern Ireland is predicted approaching 25% and it is a significant increase from the previous year. In meantime, the proportion of population for Scotland will be in a quarter. Therefore, the figure for Wales the is forecast to be highest from 1985 to 2035.

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Hi Rahmi, it is so unfortunate that some of your friends got suspended because of meaningless feedback. I would like to suggest to anyone who read this post or comment to be careful in conveying such feedback. I know that some of you might still in a learning process, but at least please struggle really hard to do your best in commenting your friends' essays in the next practice. There are some possibilities in commenting or giving feedback to someone's essay. First, you can mention / describe their grammatical flaws and give corrections. But, if you don't have sufficient grammar skills and feel not confidence, you can just point out their mistakes concerning to the flow of ideas. Is the ideas from the first and second sentence or paragraph connected? if not, what is your solution? You can give alternative sentence or alternative paragraph for that person.

However, with regards to your essay, I can see that you still needs a lot of works to be done. I hope the detailed feedback in the descriptions below will be helpful.

1st paragraph:
- 2 sentences only. Like what I've said before, you need to make at least 3 sentences for a paragraph. Perhaps you can combine your first and second paragraph.

2nd paragraph:
- Overall, the proportion of population for age 65 years and over which was higher wasthan Wales between 1985 and 2035 is described in the chart . (this sentence was a fragment, missing subject and verb. Therefore, I did some modifications)

- Besides that, the lowest number of population with same age the lower was NothernNorthern Ireland. (avoid making confusing sentence, be careful with subject-verb agreement)

3rd paragraph:
- FuthermoreFurthermore , the aging people in Scotland was still below England. (another fragment (missing verb), please be careful next time. This will badly damage your band score.)

There you are Rahmi, I hope you can follow through the feedback given. Good luck for the next practice :)