Hello this is my assignment. I have a feeling it is actually quite poor but please still give me pointers or maybe even a rating. So, when i come back again i can see if i improved or not. Please bear in mind that i am only 14. Actually age doesn't mean a thing in History. Criticize as you like. Also I have deliberately agreed with all my questions i had, so please don't say that one of my paragraphs is wrong because of that. Without further a due.
Sappers played a key role in WW1 by helping the British army reach certain destinations and destroy enemy fortifications. Without them the Army would have failed to win key battles thus creating a different outcome of the war. Sapper is a slang term for Royal Engineer; Royal Engineers had many different roles during both Wars. This made them a good unit to have as they could do many more things than the average soldier could.
The First World War relied heavily on engineering. There would have been no communication between the Army because the Royal Engineers maintained the telephones and other signaling equipment. There would have been no areas for the soldiers to take cover or the artillery to be put, because the Royal Engineers designed and built the entire defensive fortifications on the front line. It ended up in the hands of the Royal Engineers to build defense for the Army against Chemical and Underground warfare. Without engineers no supplies would have been able to be given to the Army because the Royal Engineers maintained the roads, airfields, bridges, water supplies and transport needs. And finally, without the Royal Engineers the infantry and artillery would have soon been useless, as they maintained the guns and other weapons that they used. The following quote proves my point. "Without the Infrastructure the Royal Engineers built the British army would have struggled to take key military positions and win many main battles." This quote proves my point as the infrastructure the Royal Engineers built was vital for victory and the easy running of the Army, if they had not built these the army would fail to communicate, transport, and run. This is turn shows that the Royal Engineers were an important factor in winning the War.
Key battles that the British won relied heavily on the work of the Royal Engineers. The Royal Engineers presence on the battlefield gave the British a better chance of victory. If they had not done their jobs the British troops would have struggled to reach enemy trenches or defend themselves in their own trenches. If the Royal Engineers had not tunnelled and destroyed the enemy trenches the British would have failed to take their position and this could have led to them losing more men trying to take the trenches which could have changed the outcome of the battle or battles. This is proven in the following quote. "Royal engineers were like the last piece of the puzzle without them you would fail to finish it." This quote proves my point as it shows that Royal Engineers were vital to the British for winning battles and ultimately the War.
Without the key defensive structures the Royal Engineers built the British death count would have been far greater than what it was. If the Royal Engineers had not built the trenches, buildings and dirt mounds for artillery the death toll would have been higher. This is because the trenches they dug allowed cover for the British soldiers but at the same time also allowed them to attack. The dirt mounds they built for artillery, helped cover the artillery and meant that they didn't have to be in the open or a far distance back. This next quote proves my point "For if the British troops had not received the defensive structures the Royal Engineers I have no doubt that the death toll that the British sustained would have been far greater without them." This quote proves my point as it states that without the defensive fortifications the Royal Engineers built the death count of the British troops would have increased greatly.
In conclusion the Royal Engineers as a unit played a key role for the British in winning the war because of the
infrastructure they built, the defensive fortifications they made and the skills they used to destroy enemy trenches and positions.
Bravo !! This was one of the most enjoyable piece of writing I have ever come across !!!
Thanks for those kind words. Anyone else want a say?
This is a remarkable essay for one so young! I have just some minor corrections for you:
Without further ado .
Without them, the Army would
There would have been no communication within the Army without the Sappers because
Without engineers, no supplies
The Royal Engineers' presence
"Without the Infrastructure the Royal Engineers built the British army would have struggled to take key military positions and win many main battles." -- Identify the source of this quote. It only proves your point if it comes from a credible source, such as an expert in military history.
I think it's: Without further ado. I'm not sure, though! :-)
Oh, I see that Simone already corrected that! Ha ha... anyway, onto the essay...
WWI is standard, rather than WW1.
In the beginning, when you explain the term "sappers," use quotes like I did in this sentence to show that you are referring to the word. Know what I mean?
This is a great expository essay. You have lots of potential as a writer, young jedi. Great job. Here is some guidance about comma use:
In conclusion, the Royal Engineers, as a unit, played a key role for the British in winning the war because of the infrastructure they built, the defensive fortifications they made, and the skills they used to destroy enemy trenches and positions.
You also need to work on integrating your quotations better. "The following quote proves my point" is a horrible way of introducing a quotation.
"If the Royal Engineers had not tunnelled and destroyed the enemy trenches the British would have failed to take their position and this could have led to them losing more men trying to take the trenches which could have changed the outcome of the battle or battles. This is proven in the following quote. "Royal engineers were like the last piece of the puzzle without them you would fail to finish it." This quote proves my point as it shows that Royal Engineers were vital to the British for winning battles and ultimately the War."
might therefore become something like this:
If the Royal Engineers had not tunnelled and destroyed the enemy trenches, the British would have failed to take their position. This could have led to them losing more men trying to take the trenches, which in turn could have changed the outcome of the battles. So important were the Royal Engineers that one British general said of them that they "were like the last piece of a puzzle; without them you would fail to finish it." Clearly, the Royal Engineers were vital to the British war effort.
And of course, you would have to cite your source. I have no idea where the quotation comes from, so you will have to modify my example depending upon who actually said it.
