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IELTS TASK 2 - A hundred years ago, people thought that the human race was steadily improving


madmoiselle 21 / 33 5  
May 8, 2016   #1
A hundred years ago, people thought that the human race was steadily improving in every area of life. Now it seems this is not certain that situation. In which area do you think we have made important progress nowadays? In which areas do you think we still need to make progress?

In the antiquity, people argued that the human race was gradually enhancing in all of life's aspects. However, the life's improvement nowadays is not gradually stable as in the past. There are some aspects that have advanced, nevertheless there are some aspects that have to be improved.

These days, technology has held an important role to human daily's pursuits. A host of cutting-edge instruments has facilitated the people in all of areas, such as communication, health and the others. In terms of communication for example, majority of the people possess their own gadget with the superb application. Now, the function of mobile phone is not only for keeping in touch any more, but also for taking picture, browsing to the internet and so forth. Thus, it is unquestionably true that technology has made progress in recent years.

However, there are some human life's aspects that need to be enhanced. As people living spread in many regions, not all of them gain the same right to have the better life. A further instance of this, is the gap between the city dwellers and the country dwellers as well as the rich and the poor. Even many states have established the regulation to give the same education to all of their societies. In fact, there are the country dwellers and the poor, who not obtain the well education. Furthermore, the facilities provided in the villages are less usable in compared to the schools in the cities. Hence, it is clear that the human right needs to be improved, therefore reducing the gap among social groups.

In conclusion, along the development of technology, the way of people's life nowadays has changed steadily. However, with all of the sophisticated instruments, many people are less aware that there are still, many the poor and the country dwellers out there, who not obtaining the same right as they do.

mersad 8 / 14 6  
May 9, 2016   #2
Hi. Nice to read your writings. However, I suggest the following points to improve your essay.
1-A host of cutting-edge instruments has facilitated the people in all of areas has facilitated the peoples' affairs in all of a
2-Thus, it is unquestionably true that technology has made progress in recent years. Therefore/Consequently/ Accordingly
3-...usable in compared to the schools in the cities....usable in comparison with those in the city.
4-Hence, it is clear that the human right needs to be improved, therefore reducing the gap among social groups. the meaning of this sentence is unclear for me.

Good writing but try to clearly demonstrate your position regarding the questions.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
May 9, 2016   #3
Hi Rere, I would like to share a few insights to your essay with the focus on the last two paragraphs.

- are some aspects of human life's aspects
- that needs to be enhanced.
- As people are living spread in many regions,
- thea better life.
- EvenThere are many states
- that hashave established
- giveprovide the same
- education to all of theirother societies.
- who are not able to obtain
- thewellgood education.
- usable in comparedcomparison to the

- In conclusion, along with the
- with all of the sophisticated instruments,
- many thea lot of poor people - and the country dwellers out there,
- who can not obtaining the same
- right as they doeveryone does .

There you have it Rere, I hope the remarks helped.
OP madmoiselle 21 / 33 5  
May 10, 2016   #4
Hi Mersad and Ivy thank you :)

Ivy, i have some questions that would like to ask

- human life's aspects that needs to be enhanced.

why you use S in the end of need while the subject is plural (human life's aspects)?

- There are many states that has established

then in this sentence you use has while the subject is plural (many states)?

I just confused with this, I hope you give me an explanation :)
pebzna12 13 / 24 9  
May 15, 2016   #5
Hi Rere, I think your idea has been developed well and understandable. I just suggest you to do a little revision in the sentences below.

Furthermore, the facilities provided in the villages are less usable in compared to the schools in the cities.
It is okay already, but I think it will give more emphasis if you use another term..

Hence, it is clear that the human right needs to be improved, therefore reducing(in order to reduce) the gap among social groups.


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