[TOEFL IBT: Task 2] Compare yourself today and yourself five years ago

Compare yourself today and yourself five years ago. In what ways are you the same or different? Use specific examples to support your response.

I have become a different person

It is undoubtedly that people always grow up as the time goes by. People change not only in physic, but also in maturity and on how they live their life. Iam well aware that I also have experienced a big change in my life in these past years. I certainly understand that I am today is significantly different compared to myself five years ago.

There are some changes that I am mindful it has happened to my life. Firstly, I am older than I am five years ago, hence I become more mature in facing my life today. Turning to be an adult means that I have a more complex problem. For example, after graduated from university, I turned to work life that needed ability to solve the issue by myself in the first place. There is a totally different situation between myself as a student and myself as an employee. However, in this kind of situtation, I believe that this phase is a great opprtunity to learn more and to find my bigger dreams afterwards.

The second change that significantly happened in my life is that today I have my own-source of financial. Currently, I have a job since I graduated from university. Therefore, I am able to have monthly savings and support my family, giving back to them whom have supported my life until I finished my school. Moreover, there are many hobbies that I afford to do such as traveling and photography. In the other side, I am mindful that the more I received , the more responsibility I have. Therefore, I always plan my expenditures and give the priority to the savings.

In conclusion, I am fully aware that I have become a different person than I am five years ago. Turning to be adult means that people have more problems and more responsibilty. As the time goes by, people are not only growing up, but also learning to be a better person.

Hello. There are some mistakes.

I am
situation
opportunity
responsibility.

Fail to edit the message

Avoid meaningless ADV. in the sentence

revised: I totally understand that I am different from five years ago

revised: Turned to work, I have to obtain the ability of problem-solving.

Nuradia, while I can sense the effort that you have placed in the writing of this essay, I am sad to say that the efforts you made were not good enough. This time around, the possible score for your essay has been limited to a 2 due to several serious problems with your presentation.

While you did respond to the task, it took you so long to get to the actual discussion that you ended up giving a limited response to the task. Since this is TOEFL essay, you need only address the question directly in the essay. You do not need flowery introductions or word fillers to introduce your response. The TOEFL essay does not require you to offer a prompt paraphrase in the way that an IELTS essay does. Do not confuse the two.

Your line of reasoning per paragraph is not completely explained. Although you offer examples to support your topic sentence, there is a lack of connected or related sentences to help explain your reason and example in greater details. In order to accomplish this requirement, you will need to practice using more transition sentence, phrase, and connecting words.

Your error in tense usage and improper sentence structures also created insurmountable problems in your paragraph presentations. It would be better if you can add some sentence building exercises to your preparation tasks prior to starting on your essay practice topics.