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IBT writing - the happiest era in our life is our childhood



ramtinms 3 / 6  
Jul 22, 2012   #1
Hi , Please help me with my essay ...

"Which duration of your life was the happiest part ?" To answer this question you should review your life . I agree with that childhood is the happiest time of my life. Children have no responsibility and they have an exhuastive support by their parrents They do not feel any rules against their freedom .In childhood its first time that you can experience lots of new feelings.

When you are child , you have no responsibility and because of that you have no stress .For instance you could not find anybody that ponishes a child for sleeping late in the morning .Our parrents prepared our needs .

Besides , there is no laws that make children denied to do what they wants . As a case in point in my childhood I was free to play games , to eat food, whenever I want . I remember that my bigest concern in that time was that my video games were saved without faults.

The third point is that many things is new for a child. He/she will find the world so beautiful with a lot of unkown objects . For example , I remember my first friend in the kindergarten . After we get friends to each other we had a great feeling . Sleeping on the grasses for the first time is one of the perfect memory in everyone's mind.

To sum up briefly , the aforementioned reasons illustrate that the happiest era in our life is our childhood .We had no responibility and we have lots of free time to do what ever we want .

tommyboy614 2 / 12  
Jul 22, 2012   #2
"Parrents" ==> Parents

"Freedom ." ==> Freedom. (Watch spacing with periods, commas etc.)

"In childhood its first time that" ==> Childhood is the first time that

"When you are child" ==> When you are a child

"no stress ." ==> No stress.

"For instance" ==> For instance, (put commas after transitions)

"ponishes" ==> punishes

"morning ." ==> morning.

"parrents" ==> parents

"Besides ," ==> Besides, (no spaces between word and punctuation)

"there is no laws" ==> there are no laws

"laws that make children denied to do what they wants ." ==> laws that deny children their wants

"bigest" ==> biggest

"The third point is that many things is new for a child." ==> The third point is that many things are new for a child.

"my first friend in the kindergarten" ==> my first friend in kindergarten

"After we get friends to each other we had a great feeling" ==> After we became friends, we felt great

"Sleeping on the grasses for the first time is one of the perfect memory in everyone's mind." ==> Sleeping on the grass for the first time is one of the perfect memories on everyone's mind."

"and we have lots of free time" ==> and we had lots of free time (it has to match the first part of the sentence "We HAD no responsibility)

Overall, just go through the things I mentioned and look for the same mistakes elsewhere (like the spaces between words and punctuation). You have great points, just try to develop them more - if you can.

I hope this helped!
OP ramtinms 3 / 6  
Jul 22, 2012   #3
Thanks a lot my friend


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