Is it more important to study history and literature than to study science and maths?

Hi I've got another TOEFL essay. Please give me some feedback. I appreciate it a lot. Many thanks!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to study history and literature than it is for them to study science and mathematics. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In my opinion, it is at least as important for students to study science and mathematics as it is for them to study history and literatures. There a many jobs on the market that require science and mathematics knowledge. In addition, science and mathematics are practical in daily lives and give students knowledge to create a better future.

If students study science and mathematics it will help them in their working life. Almost all of the jobs nowadays require you to have knowledge about science and/or mathematics. You cannot build a house or a bridge without knowledge of science and/or mathematics. You will have difficulty working with a balance sheet if you don't have a good mathematics knowledge.

Furthermore, science and mathematics are everywhere in our daily lives. Therefore it is very practical to have knowledge about science and mathematics in our lives. Many people don't think about it but when you do such small things as cooking or reading a map, you are using science and mathematics. When you learn to drive a car, you are using science and mathematics.

Ten years ago people listen to cassette tapes in their car but now they listen to their smart phones that can contain thousands of songs in their car. This is thanks to science and mathematics. This shows how important it is to know science and mathematics if we want our lives in future to be simpler and better. Therefore, by studying science and mathematics students will be able to create a better future for the society.

History and literature are important subjects and so are science and mathematics. Science and mathematics will help students in both their working lives and daily lives, and help them to create a better future. Therefore I disagree with the statement that it is more import for student to study science and mathematics than it is for them to study history and literature.

You start the essay with expressing your opinion. However, it is better to introduce your topic to the reader and then state your opinion. You need to assume that reader does not have any knowledge about what you are going to discuss. In this essay you do not introduce your topic at all and answer directly to the prompt.


.... well.... I think this does not sound logical... How about a professional actor or a singer? Or even a janitor? I think you need to come up with a better argument.

That is a really good piece of advice. It indeed looks better to a short introduction first. I will keep that in mind.

I think actors need science knowledge or maths to do stunts. Even Jackie Chan needs to use maths when he jumps off a building or climbs a tree, don't you think;)? Singers use lights to look better on scenes, sound-, smoke-, and fire effects. I think it's science. But maybe I should have put those examples in the text to strengthen my arguments.

You are very good with counter arguments.... Well, what I meant was that particular line sounds like a too much generalization. It's a compliment that the actors have a good knowledge in math and science, but they can manage doing a good job without having such knowledge. Those effects you talk about can be handled by specialized guys in their production team and not necessarily by the person who performs. Generally those guys hire expertise :D

I guess you are preparing for IELTS or TOEFL. Then pay attention to their expected essay structures. I think the 4 para (Intro+2 Body paras +Conclusion) structure is the best for you to earn good marks.

Anyways, you write very well :)

Haha you're not bad yourself. Anyway, thanks for the tips!