Which is more important: Talent or hard work?

factors to become a triumphant person

It's clear to discern that technological and scientific development alongside self-actualization in the revolution of industry 4.0. But there are a lot of issues that have been arising about the demand for modern individuals. One of them is: "Which is more important: talent or hard work?"

Differing from a genius who capable to do somethings well with a natural ability, an assiduous person is very hard and effort in their works or duties and it takes them so much time than a gifted person to complete tasks. Nowadays, the requirement for everyone in each period of human being's cycle life is not the same. For example, getting high scores and the strongest performer in school is the expectation of parents or around people, managers pay attention to the ability to make revenue on the given time when students graduate and to want to apply for a job. Undoubtedly, the result is the final purpose that everybody wants to reach because they can not discern the learning and working processes in detail. To demonstrate competence, which of talent or hard work will get more effective?

Although having the capability to accomplish goals effectively in a short time than other people, genius could able to be slothful and procrastinate responsibility as depending too much on their talent without putting attempt and time. In modern life, human resources management focus attitude unlike skills or knowledge before, therefore, brilliant as also erudite people could not be appreciated greatly without reasonable behavior. For instance, the great scientist - Thomas Edison whose lights, one of the most important inventions would never have to exist if, in 1000th time, he was stopped experimenting because of boredom. The biggest pride of the Vietnamese people, Uncle Ho, who repelled the foreign invader by his talent and special grit.

Many research indicates which differentiates between a scientist's brain and average person are wrinkles and it can increase with regular practice. Accordingly, the brain will be developing and processing information rapidly besides continuous effort.

To summarize, to become a triumphant person, hard word to self-actualization is important than talent.

I believe that you wrote this for an IELTS task 2 essay. The main problem though, is that you forgot to include the original prompt requirement in your post. So, not having that on hand, I was hoping to find the actual topic for discussion and the discussion instructions within your prompt paraphrase paragraph. The problem, is that you did not a good job at the paraphrasing, the original question, discussion reason, and discussion instructions are not seen at all in your presentation. You cannot provide a rhetorical question in the paraphrase as you are expected to do the following in that section:

- Restate the prompt clearly
- Provide the reasons given for the discussion based on the original prompt presentation
- Respond to the direct question asked in the original prompt
- Give an outline of your topic responses for the reasoning paragraph.

Therefore, your prompt paraphrase is problematic. You do not provide a clear restatement and, you failed to provide a clear opinion as you merely gave a question at the end rather than a response.

Your vocabulary in the essay doesn't sound natural. It does not feel like a conversation with someone. Rather, it feels like you are trying to impress and are simply aiming for a higher LR score, which is what you get when you use natural words that do not sound out of place in the sentence (ex. assiduous, slothful) Your sentence structures are incorrect and confusing the the reader. The sense of what you are trying to say is lost in the translation from your vernacular to the English language.

I can see that you have a pretty good idea of what you want to say to the reader in English. The problem is your execution. You are aiming to write complex sentences and paragraphs, which is not a bad thing. However, the bad comes from the lack of clarity in your presentation, improper use of vocabulary, and total inability to realize that the sentences you are writing just doesn't make sense most of the time.

Work on your simple sentence presentation first. Aim for clarity using simple words and sentences. Impressing the reader will come when you are accustomed to naturally writing in English.