Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


There is an increasing number of students who decide to quit high school. Cause and solution ?



MianhDo1802 1 / -  
Dec 10, 2021   #1

quitting high school phenomenon



More and more students make a decision to quit when they are in high school. One possible reason for this is achievement pressure. one way to limit this problem is for parents to take this into consideration before choosing high school for their children.

The foremost cause of quitting school is due to pressure on achievements in high school. In some countries such as japan, china, etc, School is usually a competitive environment in which most students try to gain the highest achievement so that they can receive admiration from people around them. Thus, school is the reason that causes stress in teenagers. To imagine, Many students cannot do well at learning they may feel useless when they have to continue wasting money on high school without gaining any. Instead of this, teenagers especially in unwealthy families decide to drop out of school and choose a part time job to earn money or support their families.

The possible solution for this issue is for parents to consider school while selecting high school for their children. Each person has their own abilities and parents should help them find a school which is suitable for them. Some teenagers may be good at STEM subjects, others may have potential in creative subjects. For example, a person despite being bad at learning but he has ability in playing football, their parents can select sport high school for them. This method not only decrease the rate of quit but it also helps them success in the future.

In conclusion, gaining high achievement is a possible cause of this problem. To tackle this, parents should think thoughly before choosing high school for them.

I will have ielts test in next month plssss can u help me fix it !! thanks sooooo much !!!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Dec 11, 2021   #2
More and more students

Avoid the use of non-academic, memorized phrases such as this one. It is not only an exaggeration of the original prompt, but it also does not offer a logical point of view based on the given topic. Rather than saying "more and more", you could have instead said "There are some students..." Such a reference is academic and non-sensational in presentation. It shows a logical line of thinking without going overboard in your sentiment.

I will commend your response to the questions provided though. You have created a well thought out response to the questions that clearly indicate what your upcoming reasoning discussions will be about. This is an effective thesis statement even though the grammar is not perfect. The grammar is not so much of a problem though since your thought process is still easily understood by the reader.

japan, china,

Kindly remember the noun usage rules. Proper nouns covering the names of people, places, and things are always capitalized. Be careful and ensure that you follow English grammar use guidelines to avoid heavy GRA deductions in your individual scoring segment.

etc

Non-academic word. Do not use these terms as it is seen as a lazy form of writing in an academic setting. It is frowned upon and will affect your C+C scores.

Many students cannot do well at learning they may feel useless when they have to continue wasting money on high school without gaining any.

This is an unclear reference. The money part refers to parents, it does not refer to pressure on students. It is more than likely you did not translate this sentence properly from your local language, which is why you delivered an incoherent statement.

You need to add more punctuation practice work during your writing exercise time. There are several instances of missing or incorrect punctuation usage in your essay. These will have direct negative effects on your GRA score. Do better in these areas to ensure less deductions during the actual test.


Home / Writing Feedback / There is an increasing number of students who decide to quit high school. Cause and solution ?
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳