Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


( IELTS essay) Who is more influential in children: Parents or Classmates



joythblessy 86 / 266  
Feb 11, 2013   #1
Do you agree with the following statement? Classmates are more important influence than parents on child's future..?

In this ever-changing fast world, children get effected by both classmates and their parents. It is a debatable topic, whether classmates or parents are more powerful in childrens' lives. However, I feel, they are more influenced by their classmates.

To begin with, nowadays, parents are not spending enough time with their children because of their busy life schedule. Young children are spending quantity time with their friends than parents, and are more involved with them, so the influence of friends on them are very strong. Students usually spend their time in school, part-time jobs, studies, plays and just having fun with friends. These activities take more time to interact more with their friends. For instance, when I was in the school I used to share my ideas and experiences with my classmates, who are in the same age with different experiences.

Secondly, young adults are in a transient stage of personality. In that age, they are trying to imitate others. They want to catch the eye of others and blindly follow whoever succeeded and got attraction from others. Parents restrict them from some activities for their bright future or to avoid facing dangers in life while, classmates support them in all. Besides, they try to live independently and these young adults neglect parents' opinions and accept the opinion of their friends. Moreover, children are choosing their own friends but cannot select their parents, and forced to accept them.

In conclusion, children are spending quantity time with their friends and feel that, classmates are more attached to them. As a result, I believe, children get affected from their friends more than their parents get.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 11, 2013   #2
children get effected by both classmates and their parents.

children get influenced by both classmates and their parents.

To begin with, nowadays, parents are not spending enough time with their children because of their busy lifeschedule.style

Young children are spending quantitymore time with their friends than parents, and are more involved with them, so the influence of friends on them are very strong.

Young children spend more time with their peers than with their parents. Therefore the peer influence is stronger on these young children than that of their parents.

Students usually spend their time in school, part-time jobs, studies, plays and just having fun with friends. These activities take more time to interact more with their friends. For instance, when I was in the school I used to share my ideas and experiences with my classmates, who are in the same age with different experiences.

Well.... I think you need to discuss this from the point that how peers influence each other. These sound as reasons but not as specific examples. For example, you can say that you tend to dress what your peers like and not what your parents like.
jorgearmando18 8 / 32  
Feb 11, 2013   #3
In this ever-changing fast world, children get effected by both classmates and their parents. It is a debatable topic, whether classmates or parents are more powerful in childrens' lives. However, I feel (I believe , is more powerful), they are more influenced by their classmates.

These activities take more time to interact more with their friends.

I suggest to avoid repetition on the same sentence

Parents restrict them from some activities for their bright future or to avoid facing dangers in life while, classmates support them in all

Look at your word restrict and or it means that parents are restricting them from some activities or from avoiding facing dangers? I do not believe that you mean that avoiding dangers is a restriction, consider revising.

children are choosing their own friends but cannot select their parents, and are forced to accept them.

In conclusion (I would not recommend the use of this word, is up to you), children are spending quantity time with their friends and feel that, (remove the comma)classmates are more attached to them. As a result, I believe, children get affected from their friends more than their parents get.

Very best of luck


Home / Writing Feedback / ( IELTS essay) Who is more influential in children: Parents or Classmates
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳