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[Task1] Information about Chorleywood town



LadyOfClockwork 30 / 100  
Jul 26, 2017   #1
Chorleywood is a village near London whose population has increased steadily since the middle of the nineteenth century. The map below shows the development of the village.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant


Report on the Chorleywood village



A map illustrates how the village of Chorleywood developed between 1868 and 1994. The process is divided into four phases: 1868-1883, 1883-1922, 1922-1970 and 1970-1994. The change during each phase will be summed up in this essay and comparison made whenever necessary.

Overall, Chorleywood grew as the transport infrastructure improved. Beginning as a small settlement, the village came to comprise several populated areas close to the transport network. At the center of the map laid Chorleywood Park and a golf course, which went untouched over the more than one century.

Chorleywood originally occupied a humble-sized land, in proximity to the south-north main road to the west and the park and golf course to the east. During the second phase, it expanded south into a modest-sized settlement, along the road but never across it. In 1909, there emerged a railway and a station in Chorleywood. It cut through the village from west to east and indicated the direction of its development in the next phrase.

The settlement south of the railway further extended both west and east until 1970, when a motorway was built beyond the eastern tip of the village. Populated areas then began to appear around where the south-north way crossed the railway and one of the main roads. In this phase Chorleywood expanded much faster than ever, but the park and the golf course remained well-preserved.

I would more appreciate it if you score my essay.


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Jul 26, 2017   #2
Gang, try to vary the way that you end the opening statement. Don't always use the same closing line. Try to develop new ways of saying it so that you can also develop your lexical resources and grammar range. I noticed that you decided to use that line almost like a template. That will not serve you well in practice because you limit your grammar development. The overall presentation of the essay is sufficient enough for a score of 6.5 - 7, depending upon the other details that the examiner might have to take note of during his scoring process. Overall though, you did an excellent job in all aspects. The essay was easy to follow, showed a detailed analysis of the map, and increased the knowledge of the reader just by reading your highly detailed report. There is something that I would like you to try in your next test though. Try to see if you can develop more complex sentences using 5 sentences per paragraph. We already know that you can write well in short bursts. Try to lengthen the paragraphs in an effort to boost your final score in the GRA section.
OP LadyOfClockwork 30 / 100  
Jul 27, 2017   #3
@Holt
Thank you for your advice. I will improve my writing accordingly. When I was comfortable with such an ending sentence, I slipped into a mold I made for myself. Next time I will try to vary my expressions and lengthen the paragraphs.
tran14 12 / 26  
Aug 5, 2017   #4
The map illustrates ...
The changes during each phase will be summed up in this essay and comparison made whenever necessary.

... transport infrastructure improved area.
At the center of the map laid Chorleywood Park and a golf course, which went untouched over the more than one century. (you should write about this in the body)

In 1909, there emerged a railway and a station in Chorleywood (can easily be misunderstood). It The former cut through the (...) to east and indicated the direction of its development in the next phrase.

You fullfil the lexical vocabulary well and have good grammar structures. Sometimes, you make mistakes in the essay, but they don't influence your score much. the best point of this is that your description is easy to understand and cover the map efficiently. Just need to be careful with minor details! (^_−)☆


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