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IELTS task1 (maps) - The two maps below show Stokeford town development over the 80 years

haianh6115 1 / -  
Sep 17, 2022   #1

Stokeford 1930-2010

The two maps illustrate a village in Stokeford before and after it was developed between 1930 and 2010.

Overall, over a period of 80 years, the town experienced a total transformation after the construction of some facilities and more buildings to provide more accommodation for residents.

In 1930, the major part of the town was for agriculture and farming, with a farmland in the west side and another, which was more vast, located in the eastern part of the village, and a bridge to connect two sides of the River Stoke. There was a primary school in the center of the village, with a post office, some to the south of the school.

Following construction, in 2030, the bridge and the post office remained the same as part of the development, the school was also retained, but expanded with two buildings for more students.

The most noticeable change was that both farmland on either side of the village and the shops were demolished, replaced by housing areas in order to make more places for individuals. Further developments were in the south side of the town, the gardens made way for a house for retired people.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,956 4811  
Sep 17, 2022   #2
The summary overview does not meet the formatting requirement for the task. A summary overview should have at least 2-3 sentences in it to show that the writer actually found all of the important information for quick presentation in the paragraph. Do this in no more than 5 sentences.

The trending paragraph, along with other paragraphs in the essay are not GRA compliant since these are mostly composed of long sentences known as run-ons. The student must understand that the paragraphs require 3-5 sentences to satisfy the academic / professional presentation format / requirement of the essay. Each sentence must contain a single, specific thought or information presentation that will be connected in some theme focused manner to the rest of the individual information in the paragraph.

Review tense usage and practice using the correct tenses. The writer needs to pay attention to this since he wrote future tense information for this essay incorrectly. The clue as to the tense usage for this paragraph is in the year it describes, the future.
Hoang Minh 4 / 8  
Sep 19, 2022   #3
In my opinion, your essay is divided into too many paragraphs. It may not very serious but according to me, should write it in 3 paragraphs. To be more specific, you can mix the introduction and overview parts into one paragraph. And depending on the content you write, you may try to mix the others.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task1 (maps) - The two maps below show Stokeford town development over the 80 years
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