[Task 1] The information on the percentage of people who went to cinema in UK

film lovers in British cinemas

The line graph shows information on the percentage of people who went to cinema in UK in the 1990-2010 period. The people's attendace is divided into four different age group.

Overall, younger people seemed to go to the cinema less than their older counterpart. However, all four age groups shows a gradual increase during the give period, except for a slight decline between 1995 and 2000.

In 1990, almost people in UK who went to the cinema were in the age group of 34-44 and 44-54. To be specific, the percentage of people who went to cinema was approximate 40% for each group, while this percentage of people who were between 14 and 24 was only about 15%. In the next five year, the proportion of all four groups increased slightly by 2-3% before falling to the lowest point in the whole line graph in 2000. However, the percentage of all four groups remained above 10%.

During the period from 200 to 2010, there was a gradual increase in the percentage of people who went to cinema in four age groups. In 2010, the number of cinema attendees was also dominated by the age group of 44-54. Over 50% people going to cinema were between 44 and 54, while this percentage in the age of teenager was about 20%.

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... age groups shows showed a gradual increase during the give period period-given,...

In 1990, almost Most of thepeople in theUK (...) were dominated by in the aged-group of ...
... people over 34 percentage of people who went to the cinema was approximate approximately 40% for each group, while the this percentage of ...
..., the proportion of all four groups had increased slightly to by 2-3% before falling fell back, hit the lowest point of to the lowest point in the whole all the line-groups graph in 2000. However, the percentage of all four each groups remained were above 10%.

During the period from 200 to 2010 From 2000 onward, (...) in the percentage proportion of people (...) in four all age-groups.
... attendees was also (also, refer to?) dominated by the age (aged)-group of 44-54. (More than)Over 50% people between 44 and 54 going to cinema went to the cinema were between 44 and 54, while but this the number of percentage in the age of teenager were about 20%.

Phuong, this is only a 3 paragraph essay. You stretched it to 4 paragraphs needlessly as the trending paragraph should have been included in the summary overview. You need to also learn how to better indicate various types of time frames in the essay. For example, in this essay, there were 2 decades, meaning 2 periods covering 10 years each, that you could have indicated in order to prove a larger English vocabulary. It would have been better to have said;

... to cinema in UK over a 2 decade period covering the years 1990 - 2010.

In order to increase your LR score, it is important that you know how to say one term or one idea in at least 2 different ways that use less common English words. In this case "decade" would have been the less commonly used English word.

In the paragraph where you make a comparison that indicated a slight increase of 2-3 %, it would have been best if you had also indicated the actual percentage figure along with the increase. This would have shown a greater interest in providing the most accurate report that you could for the graph.

Overall, your work is pretty good. It seems to cover all of the required elements and does its best to create an in-depth analysis of the graph in the best way that you know how to present. Good work. You should be able to show more improvement over time.