Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS task 1: International migration in UK


TrangNTV 1 / -  
Mar 8, 2014   #1
Hi there, I'm preparing for the IELTS exam. I will be very appreciated if you help me check this essay for IELTS writing task 1

The chart illustrates information about immigration, emigration and net immigration throughout the nine-year period from 1999.

In the first five years, the number of residents immigrated in and emigrated out of Britain were both slightly fluctuated in an almost resemble manner, but the figures for immigration were significantly higher. Numbering at 450,000 or so in 1999, immigration rate climbed to just more than 500,000 in 2003. Similarly, emigration rate, which stood at up to 300,000 in the starting year, increased by practically 50,000 in 2003. As a result, net immigration rate remained fairly constant at some 170,000 in this period

In the following years, net immigration showed an erratic behavior. It suddenly peaked at somewhere in the region of 250,000 in 2004. The explanation for this case is that in 2004, the number of people who came to live in UK accelerated to more or less 600,000 while roughly 350,000 people moving out. The rest of this period saw a similar pattern to the first five years.

As can be seen from the chart, immigration and emigration rate both increased but in slightly different manners.

(185 words)




MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Mar 8, 2014   #2
In the first five years, the number of residents immigrated in and emigrated out of Britain were both slightly fluctuated in an almost resemble manner, but the figures for immigration were significantly higher.

Both the number of people came to and left the UK increased gradually in the first five years, though immigration rate was significantly higher.
Also, as far as I'm concerned, "from" and "to" are the prepositions used after "immigrate" and "emigrate", rather than "in" and "out of".

peaked at somewhere in the region of 250,000 in 2004

peaked at approximately 250000 in 2004

As can be seen from the chart, immigration and emigration rates both increased but in slightly different manners.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 9, 2014   #3
450,000

500,000

from this pattern, I suggest to altered the number writing with 450 thousand

Similarly, emigration rate, which stood at up to 300,000 in the starting year, increased by practically 50,000 in 2003.

as a reader I quite confused while you add many commas.

As can be seen from the chart, immigration and emigration rate both increased but in slightly different manners.

I think this is not appropriate


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1: International migration in UK