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The Internet, despite being the most significant breakthrough in history, is indeed a mixed blessing

anna1239 1 / -  
Dec 3, 2017   #1

the advent of the Internet

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the advent of the Internet, students these days can easily access a large volume of information on any given subjects. This current trend has given rise to a controversial issue that educational institutions have become obsolete and that children can learn from home. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with this statement for the following reasons.

To start with, the overwhelming variety of learning resources would potentially be counterproductive without the instruction of a mentor. Home computers and Internet access are undeniably integral for students to look up information for research. Equally important, though, is the provision of guidance from teachers and parental supervision in making effective use of the world wide web. Lack of proper guidance could lead students to misleading and unreliable materials. Whereas, in a structured learning environment, course books are thoroughly designed by prominent and qualified authors, providing learners with suitable knowledge in a systematic way.

On the other hand, upon the growing dominance of social networks such as Facebook, it seems that the Internet now offers even more distraction and unpleasantness than it has ever been. Thus, learners will likely succumb to the lure of chatting online instead of staying focused on their work. Besides, homeschooling will further entrench a worrying phenomenon that people these days would rather interact with electronic gadgets than engage in real human conversation . Therefore, the physical presence of a child in school or any other institution is of great importance, encouraging face to face communication and the development of interpersonal skills.

In conclusion, the Internet, despite being the most significant breakthrough in history, is indeed a mixed blessing. Learners can only harness its power to the full under the orientation and instruction of highly qualified school teachers. Only in that way can the Internet serves as a valuable aid/ a complement to the national curriculum.

(304 words)

Holt [Contributor] - / 6,896 1718  
Dec 3, 2017   #2
Anna, I think you can score a 6 with this essay. What lowered the score for this otherwise strong essay is how the essay did not fully develop the discussions in a connected manner and, your 3rd paragraph does not focus on the discussion of studying well at home. Consider that even at school, the distractions exist since the children still have internet connected phones, thus the focus on social media is the same as a distraction even in school. The focus of the essay discussion should only be on the educational side. Points to consider for this essay would be :

1. Traditionally, parents are the first teachers of children, thus making home schooling the default method of learning for most children.
2. Some home schooling parents believe that their children will learn better in a safe environment like home since school violence is on the rise.
3. Home schooled children still have to attend regular school for PE classes. A discussion that defeats your claim that home schooled children have weak social skills.

In order to score better in these tests, you have to show a sense of familiarity with the topic. That means, looking for more interesting lines of reason as a defense instead of relying on the commonly presented model response essay discussions. I noticed that your response was similar to the model response for this essay so I am not sure if you would be able to properly respond to an original prompt in the test. In order to better assess your abilities. Let me pose an original IELTS type question for you to respond to. This is a new question I made up just for you so that I can assess if you have the ability to write a 9 band essay.

Prompt: Christmas is considered a religious holiday that excludes people of other faith from the celebrations. There is a growing sentiment that Christmas should not be celebrated and instead, it should be a regular holiday like Thanksgiving, without a religious connotation. That way everyone, regardless of faith, can participate in the festivities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Write at least 250 words.

Post your response as a new thread for me to comment on. This is the best way to assess your actual preparedness for the test.

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