Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


The internet gave big impact to human life. Today life would be totally different without it. IELTS2



RAJ57 3 / 1  
Nov 4, 2015   #1
The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


The internet gave big impact to human life. With computer network, everyone can connect each other without limit and with real time. Some people in the world believe due the internet connection they can do everything fast and easier, those think without the internet their life will be flat. This essay will be argued that the internet is the most significant discovery for the last thirty years.

To begin, the internet really helps students to browse information or knowledge. They can save their money from buying a newspaper or book and they do not need to go to library for finding a book they need. In addition, for pupils who want to study abroad or to get scholarship, they can easier get information from the internet. Not only that, they can also send documents required via the internet.

Office working nowadays are different than in the past. Most offices use the internet in every part of division, the internet makes them being connected each other which really help them in transfer data and communication. Staff of offices work fast because the internet. For example, staff promote products of offices in the internet and in a few hours their products have sold out.

To sum up, I agree the internet is best invention that influence all aspects of the way people lived is probably the internet. the internet will be important our life nowadays would be totally different without it. For suggestion, do not using the internet for negative actions using it wisely can improve our life better.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Nov 5, 2015   #2
Muhammad, while you are right to indicate a discussion about how important the internet is or has become over the past thirty years in your introduction, you forgot to mention that you will be discussing it because you agree with the statement to a certain degree. In this case, you should were right to concentrate solely on the reasons that you believe the internet is the most significant invention of the past 30 years.It really helped to strengthen your argument.

As I reviewed your response to the prompt, I noticed that you had a flaw in your discussion. As you know, in these types of essay tests, you are not supposed to present your personal opinion as a part of the conclusion. You should have presented that as a stand alone paragraph that would have properly delivered your personal reasons for agreeing with the prompt. The conclusion is supposed to be a paragraph that contains different information.

The conclusion should have only presented a summary of the prompt and discussion as you presented it. That means you only give a summary of the prompt and your reasons within the discussion. The final sentence of the conclusion should merely restate your opinion, it should not discuss it as a new idea. New ideas cannot be presented, as a rule, in the concluding paragraph of any essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / The internet gave big impact to human life. Today life would be totally different without it. IELTS2
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳