Internet made a lot of changes in how we search for and spread information

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.
What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

internet and information concerns

The development of internet has grown enormously every year, which made a lot of changes in how we search for and spread information. However, big changes are not always beneficial , there are issues that go along. So what are the biggest issues and how we can resolve it effectively? This essay will present the difficulties and how to address them.

First problem is the appearance of high-technology crimes. Take hackers as an example. Black-hat hackers can hack into thousands of bank accounts to withdraw money from them, and this happens because it easier to go to the bank and rob it, hackers can simply stay home with a fast-connect network, a high-efficient computer and they are good to go. It is true that this job requires a wide spectrum of knowledge about encryption, but, once being an expert no one can stop it.

The other issue needs to be discussed is that one's privacy. For instance, government can easily surveil messages, phone calls without us notice. Even though they claimed that they do this for our own safety, to insure national security, users are not certain that whether their information being sold to a third-party or not. Therefore, not only government but also another foreign country can interfere our community system and violate the privacy policy anonymously.

To resolve, first thing a person can do is to not upload personal content. For example, address, password and nudes must not be shared on social network. Secondly, use stronger password and different one for every accounts. By doing this, it is harder to hack into one's account and if it is hacked, there will be only one affected.

These are most important concerns when it comes to surfing the internet; and can be solved effortlessly. However, it is better to be cautious when log on a website because err on the side of caution. If everyone can be careful when they use internet, it will reduce the risk of loosing information and even property in the future.

Anh, I have to say, I am very impressed with the essay that you wrote. The paraphrasing, though not perfect, is more than acceptable. It had an interesting hook that did not deviate from the prompt subject, it created an interesting method of introducing the topic statement through a question. Then strongly closed the paragraph with an informative thesis sentence.

Now, there is a problem with the fluency of your grammar. There are certain instances when you have hanging instead of complete sentences such as


, in this instance, you need a connecting word "that" in order to create a complete thought process in the sentence. That is the main problem in your body paragraphs actually. You need to learn when to use a connecting word in order to complete the sentence.

Considering your discussion though, it is coherent and cohesive in a simple manner. What will impress the examiner is that you are using examples and information that is commonly known to the public. So you are coming across a well read and highly informed in terms of current events. This is a well developed essay in terms of content. I just wish though that you had better developed your resolution discussion in terms of suggestions. It was too short and not as informative as your previous paragraphs. That is, for me, the weakest paragraph in this essay.

The concluding statement though, it should have just wrapped up the discussion by providing a summary of the discussion content of the essay. Even with that mistake though, the essay will still get a very good score, possibly more than passing, in an actual test setting.

@ruanriying
I really like your argument because it's straight, simple and effective. You did not use long sentence, wide range of vocabulary or difficult grammar, which I don't not whether your score is deceased or not, but your content make up for that part really well. I seem that you just wrote out what you thought and made it become essay without much effort. It's really interesting.

@ruanriying
I think you offered very strong arguments in the essay, but you should try to illustrate them more specifically. :)